Runaway Autumn

Chapter 2- Break Down A Little

Exhausted. That's how Taylor feels. It makes sense though. It's 5:00 am in L.A, after all, and she's sitting bleary-eyed at the piano, still has yet to make her way to bed. She's not even in her pajamas, is still wearing her leather two-piece and gold temporary tattoos from Drake's party.

As exhausted as Taylor is, she isn't tired. Her mind is very much awake, swimming in a pool of anxieties and uncertainties. The past six hours have been draining, confusing. She's not really sure where she stands with anyone.

Taylor's starting to think that leaving the house for Drake's party was a bad decision. Had she known how much drama it was going to cause, she never would've accepted the invitation.

"I just emailed Tracey from GossipCop," Tree says triumphantly. She's on a FaceTime call with Taylor, Taylor's black iPhone case propped up against the music rack.

"And it's taken care of?" Taylor asks anxiously.

"Yes," Tree assures her. "Public will get a statement any minute now."

"Okay, great," Taylor swallows. She feels a small weight lifted off of her, though she still can't seem to let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, we'll stay in touch in case anything happens in London," Tree adds, eager to get off the phone.

"Yeah, let's hope things stay quiet," Taylor says worriedly. The thought of any news related to her impending London trip leaking makes her want to throw up.

"Umm, uhhh before I go, is there anything else I should know? Like are you okay?" Tree asks, her voice wavering ever so slightly.

"No, umm, that'll be all. Thank you. And uhh I'm fine, thanks for asking," Taylor lies.

She's not fine. Not fine at all. And it sucks because it felt like just last week she was riding this amazing high; writing new music, rekindling old friendships, having the best fucking sex of her life.

Now she's here; hungover and recovering from a cold, half-convinced that her boyfriend doesn't fucking love her and that all her friends are using her again. Deep down, Taylor knows she's being irrational, that it's probably her insecurities or the alcohol talking. It doesn't make it any fucking easier though, because those feelings are still there. It just sucks.

"God, Meredith, look at me," Taylor groans to the Scottish fold beside her. "I'm losing my mind."

Shaking her head at the gray cat, Taylor reaches for her phone, decides that it's probably a good idea for her to call Joe back even though he's already made it clear that he doesn't care about the rumors.

To her delight, Joe picks up instantly. Hearing his voice is sobering. It snaps Taylor out of her daze.

"Miss me already?" Joe teases.

"No," Taylor scoffs, stifling a laugh. "I just wanted to let you know that Tree's taken care of the Drake rumor, so it's all under control."

"Good," Joe says softly. "Thanks for the update."

Taylor stays silent for a good thirty seconds, waiting for him to say more. When the words never come, she's pleasantly surprised by how comfortable the silence is. She can't help but think back to when things were starting to get rocky with Adam. Their conversations over the phone would always be so icy. Even when things were good between them, their conversations were stale at best.

"Taylor?" Joe murmurs, breaking the silence. "Is there anything else on your mind?"

Taylor's once again impressed and terrified by Joe's ability to read her. She's not sure how she feels about being so vulnerable in front of him, doesn't want him to walk away. "I'm sorry, I'm still feeling beat down from the chaos of this week and the Formula 1 show. That's why I'm a little off," she squeaks, wanting to ensure that her trip to London goes smoothly.

Taylor's afraid that Joe'll call her bluff, but this time he doesn't. "Get some rest, love," he instructs. "You look exhausted. I'll call you on the plane, okay? I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I'm so excited, you have no idea."

Taylor smiles, blows him a kiss even though he obviously can't see it. "Okay, bye, I love you," she whispers.

"I love you too, good night."

Taylor blushes. She still gets goosebumps whenever Joe tells her that he loves her, likes that they end every phone call with those three little words. Even though they're now past the 'friends with benefits' stage and have confessed their love for each other, it still feels like there's an active cat and mouse game at play.

Tonight's a perfect example, actually, of their inability to leave their playboying selves behind: Taylor showing up to Drake's party in her sexiest black outfit, taking mildly provocative pictures, getting dollar bills stuffed in her bra, and not once mentioning her boyfriend across the pond; Joe displaying no signs of jealousy when the subsequent rumors of Taylor and Drake dating surfaced.

It's not that Taylor wasn't thinking about Joe at the party. Quite the opposite actually. She couldn't get him out of her goddamn head. It felt like every time she turned around there was yet another reminder of his presence. Sorrow by The National played and she thought back to the time they listened to it coming home from that divebar, the bartender offered her a Stella Artois- Joe's beer of choice.

If she's being honest, Taylor has no idea why she felt the need to distance herself from Joe, prove to him that she was desirable, wanted, could leave at a moment's notice. Because that's not what she wants. She wants him. Just him. She wants a life with him.

As Taylor finally wills herself to go to sleep, she wonders if she'll ever get the voice in her head to stop yelling at her to keep her guard up, fall back into her cowboy-like ways. She can't fuck this up. She knows it. She'd never love again.

AN: This is a much shorter chapter since it's more of a prelude to the next one(s), but I hope you guys still enjoyed!! I wrote it super fast, so my apologies if it's hard to follow or is terribly boring. As always thanks so much for reading babes, I really, really appreciate it! Happy Holidays to each and every one of you!! <3