〈MYTH〉 [BOOK 4]

〈ENTRY THREE〉

"Don't you have anything better to do than mope around?" 

I lifted my head from looking at the pendant in my hands. Maddox walked inside, removing his mask as he did. He placed it on the table before sinking into the chair across from me. I twisted the pendent around in my hand before closing my palm. 

"Don't you have anything better to do than pester me?"

Maddox leaned back in the chair. "You're in a bad mood."

"Thank you for stating the obvious," I muttered, moving to stand. 

"Sit down, boy," He said, making me pause. "You and I are going to talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about," I said. "So unless you want to sit in silence---"

"I've raised you for sixteen years," He said, pointing his finger up at me. "I know you. Sit your ass down and talk to me."

I plopped back into the chair, opening my palm and letting the pendant clatter onto the wooden surface. Maddox reached out and grabbed it before it could jump off the table. He turned his hand over, opening his palm. He frowned slightly. 

"This is a button from a Jujutsu uniform," He said, looking up at me. "How did you get this?"

"Have you ever seen your headstone, Maddox?"

His frown deepened. "What?"

"It's a horrifying thing. To see your own name etched into a stone slab with the date of your death right beside your birth. It's like you had a counter above your head, limiting your days."

"You went there, didn't you?" He asked softly. 

"I talked to my mother," I said, feeling my hand form into a fist on the table, the leather of my gloves creaking softly. "Do you know how hard it was? How hard it was to not throw myself in her arms? To tell her that she didn't have to cry because her son wasn't actually dead? Do you know how much I wanted to just...hug her? To be in her arms like I was when I was little?"

Maddox said nothing. 

"How can people do it, Maddox? How can someone look at their own mother and hate them? When all they've done is love you? Do you know what I would give to have my perfect family again? What things I would do and how far I would go just to live a normal life with her again? To lay in her bed wedged between her and my father? When everything was perfect, and no one was getting hurt?"

I released the tight fist I had made, lacing my hands into my hair as I leaned my elbows onto the table. 

"It was like I never existed in the first place," I muttered. 

"Don't you know?" He said, making me lift my head to meet his gaze through the thin slits of the mask. "People like us...we're just myths."

I sat up a little more. "W-What does that mean?"

"We died years ago, kid," He said. "That's something you and I have in common. But if we were to return to the living world, what would happen? People wouldn't believe us. People who saw us die in front of their very eyes. They wouldn't believe that you were still alive. And even if they did...they would break the fact that they had accepted your death. Then they would grieve that they took so long to get over you. Do you really want that to happen?"

"Y-You're wrong...they would be..."

"...happy?" He said, shaking his head. "You can't even lie to yourself. You know it. You saw it in her eyes, didn't you? She still wasn't done grieving over you."

"I just...I want to make her feel better!" I shouted, slamming my fist on the table. "It's not fair to her! She's suffering, and I'm not fucking dead!"

"You are," He said, shifting forward in his seat. "You are only alive in this world. And you will only live in this world. What kind of mayhem do you think would happen when the dead suddenly started to reappear?"

"You don't know her," I whispered. "You don't know my mom like I do!"

"You don't even know her!" He yelled. "Get out of your fucking heart! Use your head, dumbass! You've been away for 20 years! You don't actually expect her to be the same, do you?! She'd kill you if she saw you!"

"Shut up!" I yelled, shooting onto my feet. "You don't know what you're talking about!"

"No," He said. "You don't know what you're talking about. You need to let that shit go. Your family is here. Not there. You don't need anyone else but us."

"Gaslighting doesn't work on me," I whispered to him, making his eyes narrow. "You don't think I dealt with that shit until the day I fucking died?"

"Don't talk to me that way," He growled.

"Hey," I said, my lips twitching into a grin. "You know what? Stick it in your ass, Maddox. I don't fucking need you to tell me what I can and can't do. Who I can love and who I can't. If you want to control me so badly, you should have been my father. Not the pain in my ass."

I snatched the button from the table. As I walked to the door, he called out. 

"If you walk out that door," He said, glaring at me. "Don't ever come back through it, Isaiah."

"My name isn't Isaiah. So you can stop using the name you created when I showed up at your door," I said. 

"Then what's your name?" He asked as the butlers opened the door. "I'll have it on every paper to kill you."

I crossed one arm over my stomach, cross my leg over the other as I extended my arm out, bowing to him. 

"L/n Isamu. Make sure you add a smiley face at the end. If you ever catch me, that is."