Please let me go...

Goodbye.

"Hey Tomo, ah I mean Gorou," it's obvious what Kazuha was doing, he was coping but Gorou? Ah yes Gorou. He was a rebound, something to keep his mind off of
... him.

Gorou taking a deep breath, a quiet inhale and a loud exhale, "Kazuha..." he starts. "Wait, I'm sorry... I'll fix it please give me more time." Kazuhas speaking is frantic and pained as if he knows whats gonna happen.

"Kazuha dearest, you know I love you, I love you so, so, much... But please its been two years" Gorous ears drop, "we have to talk, seriously this time."

Seriously when did it get this bad? Oh... That's right I already knew. Foolish of me, to think he can love me. I thought I gave him enough time its been 4 years since his death. Yet I never seem to grow out of his shadow.

At first, at first it was amazing. We were so happy and in love but then I started to become a replacement for the one he lost. Or was I always the replacement? Why? Why couldnt he love me, why couldn't it be me.

I helped him so much and that doesn't make me automatically deserving of his love but, I want to be the one he loves, the apple of his eyes, his muse, why can't it be me? Oh archons what'd I'd do to see his smile, a smile without pain.

But he needs to let him go. And if letting me go, is what it takes, then I'm willing. I'm willing to do whatever for him, because I love him. I love him so, so, so fucking much.

I think when I first fell for him is that one spring, oh it was something straight out of a romance novel. He hadn't smiled in months and wouldn't get out of bed, but I told him that Sakura blossoms were in bloom and to come see them.

I didn't actually expect him to show up, but there he was infront of me, it was particularly windy that day... His hair tye coming loose from his silky hair.

And he laughed, he laughed as the wind took his hair tye, and at that moment I fell, and fell hard. My heart skipped a beat and everything. Haaaa, I curse myself for ever inviting him that day.

Or was it the winds fault? If the wind would have never took his hair tye then would he have laughed? Would I have fallen so hard for him?

Maybe it was my fault, I don't like this feeling in my chest. It feels like it's being ripped apart. It hurts, so much, it burns, I wanna get away from this feeling so bad, I don't wanna be hurt no more... I wanna be free from this.

I wanted to take his hurt, I wanted to take it all so he didn't wear that pained expression but... It looks like I'm gonna break his heart even more. Doing the exact opposite of what I saught out to do...

I just can't take this anymore, every moment I'm always being compared with him, and at first it wasn't as frequent but now I'm being more of a hindrance, I'm so tired of this. But I love him... I love him. But I can't, I can't anymore. For the both of us. This is the best option.

A small voice nagged at him saying "is it really, is this what you want?" It's not what he wants it's what he needs.

"Look Kazuha... Please believe me when I say I love you," Gorou can't bring himself to look at Kazuha the damn will break in his eyes if he does and he has to be strong.

"Kazuha, I think it's best if we break up." Gorou says voice wavering at the end "Look at me Gorou" is all Kazuha says. Enough for Gorou to instantly whip his head up. "I... Don't want to let you go, please don't leave me too" the look on his face is pitiful. So sad, it makes Gorou want to scream and cry with him.

"Kazuha, you... We cant keep going like this... Its not healthy I'm sorry, but I'm not Tomo, and I never will be, I am not his replacement. I am Gorou." Gorous head pounds. It hurts, his chest hurts, his eyes sting.

"Please stay, please" Kazuhas voice wavering growing desperate "I can't do this without you"

"Kazuha, you can. Please set me free." Gorou tries to reason with him. "Gorou please" Kazuhas voice is not even above a whisper. Voice small and salty tears dripping from his face.

And with that Gorou is instantly sobbing "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, so, sorry, but I can't, I can't anymore, everytime you call me Tomo or anything it hurts" Gorou sobs. His sobs broken and pain filled.

"Gorou I-," Kazuha can't finish "Please, please don't say it, please don't say that you love me, please I can't take it" he sobs sinking to the floor. The sob is heart wrenching you can feel his pain through his voice.

"Gorou, I love you so, so, so much." Kazuha says. "Gorou, I love you.... Please listen to me, I love you, I love you so much, I love everything about you... I love everything you do from you the way your eyes sparkle, from your tail to your ears, please. Listen to me." Kazuha says inbetween hics.

"I know, but you have to let me go, I love you to" Gorou walks softly towards him. Lifting his face up and wiping his tears. Then giving him a soft kiss on the lips and with that Kazuha knows its over.

"Gorou, I love you please don't go" Kazuha says holding onto him "You're everything I want Kazuha, but I can't handle this, I'm gonna pack my bags and leave you, this feeling is old. And I've made up my mind so please let me go" Gorou cries

Slowly peeling Kazhuas arms off of him he sighs. "But I love you... I love you so" Kazuha tries.

"Please, let me go..." Gorou says before turning his back on the male sitting on the floor. "Goodbye kazuha, I wanna let you know, I've aways loved you more than anything" and with that he walks out.

Once the door closes he sinks down on the door sobbing loudly, crying until he light headed and until it hurts to cry. Finally getting up and leaving. For good this time.

"when did it get like this?" Kazuha thinks to himself, was it really worth it? Yeah it was.

When Tomo died it was devastating, he cried and cried he didn't think something like this could hurt this that much.

He hated everything, he hated his hometown everything reminded of him, he was his everything, his world, he loved him, loved him more than anything.

Fuck this hurts, it hurts to fucking much. He loved them both, but he loved Tomo, his heart belonged to Tomo and always had, who was he kidding when accepted Gorous confession.

Did he actually ever love Gorou? Yes he did. When he fell in love with him was the winter they got together. Gorou was playing in the snow and it started snowing again.

Gorou stood there with the snow falling delicately and then a small snowflake landed on his nose. It was so small yes he flinched so hard he fell backwards. Kazuha smiled so much that day, he felt like he could love again. But look he messed that up too...

He still loves Gorou, maybe if he met Gorou before Tomo maybe they would have been a functional couple... perhaps it was just right person wrong time.

[END]