Detached

Based off of this Tumblr post: https://quietbirdee.tumblr.com/post/671218232998379520/dissociation-discussion-bonus

Something was wrong. Wrong with him. And Camilo didn't know what.

When it first happened he thought it was just a weird thing that would go away and he would feel normal again, and it did. But...it kept coming back.

It was hard to explain. It was kind of like everything was just fake. Like he was dreaming and just couldn't wake up.

And the littlest things caused it. He could just look in the mirror, or someone could say something to him and it just...activated or whatever.

It was terrifying. He tried everything to make it go away. Nothing worked. Nothing fucking worked.

Yet still, he didn't tell anyone. It wasn't that he was embarrassed, he just didn't think anyone would understand.

So he just...continued on. Pretended he was fine.

But apparently someone saw through the act. Of course it was Dolores. Dolores knew everything.

"Is everything okay, Milo?" She asked as she sat down next to him.

"Yes." His response came out more quiet and meek than he wanted it to.

And it didn't seem like Dolores was buying it.

"Come on." She nudged his shoulder. "Tell your hermana what's wrong." She gave him a comforting smile.

Camilo let a little sigh and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Do you ever look in the mirror for two seconds and it makes you feel not yourself for the next few hours?"

There it was. Out in the open.

He grabbed the sides of his arms and looked away from Dolores, not sure what her reaction would be.

"Not exactly, no..." She started. "Not from mirrors, but sometimes all the noise gets too much and my head feels detached." Dolores let out a slight 'hm!'

Detached. There it is. That's the perfect word. He felt detached.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Camilo did not want to talk about it. The slight relatability was nice, but nothing more than that.

"No, not really, Lolita." He tugged on the ends of his poncho.

"That's okay."

Well, he's happy she's not prying.

"Thanks." He said, again rather meekly. He began to get up from his seat. "I'm gonna go."

That situation was getting a little awkward. But anyway, he's glad he's not alone. Maybe kind of sad Dolores is going through the same thing, but he felt better.

The detached feeling still stayed, but it felt lighter. More in the background than taking over his entire mood. He wasn't sure quite when it started to fade, but he didn't care as long as it was going away.

So at least for a little while, he was okay.

Just for a little while.