Regrets

 "Good morning, Amy!" my mother says as I'm walking down the stairs to the kitchen.
"Hey mom," I say tiredly, as I take a seat at our dining table.
"Amy, honey I won't be able to take you to school today, but I already told Joshua to take you with him, so nothing to worry about!"
 
I groan knowing that my older brother is going to have to take me with him. We recently got into a fight so I know how awkward that car ride is about to be.
 
My older brother Joshua, honestly, we get along pretty ok. We don't get into too many fights, but we had a pretty big one a few days ago. We haven't talked since then, and I feel kind of guilty cause I was the cause of the fight, I tried to go and apologize to him, but I could never bring myself to say sorry and I don't know why.
 
"Come on Amy." I hear from behind me. As I turn, I see Joshua standing at the front door all ready to go. "Coming just give me a minute," I say in an annoyed tone. "Well hurry up!" he yells. Which makes me flinch. I've never liked yelling I always start to get panicked. Sometimes it's gotten to the point where I start having panic attacks.
 
As I stare daggers at him, he quickly turns away. He knows how much I hate yelling and still went through with it. I hug my mom and tell her “Goodbye", as I start to head to Joshua's car.
 
It's been five minutes and our school is fifteen minutes away. As I stare out the window, I get this torturing pain in the pit of my stomach. I don't know why, but I'm getting a feeling something tragic is going to happen.
 
I think now is a good time to apologize, because I don't want to start school today on bad terms with my brother. "Hey, Joshua? “I mumble under my breath. "What." He says, eyes still on the road. "I-I'm sorry," I say barely audible. As we reach a red light, he turns to me. "Sorry about what?" He asks in a cold, harsh tone. " I-I'm sorry about what I said the other day," I take a sigh and continue. "I didn't mean it." He turns his head back on the road and takes a long deep breath in, and out. 

    For the next minute, no words were said in that car. It was an awkward silence that I couldn't handle anymore, so I broke it. "C-Can you forgive me?" I asked in a whimpering voice. "No Amy, no I can't actually. No one goes around telling their brother to die.”

After that I shut my mouth. I knew I shouldn’t say anything, I don’t need to make it worse than it already was. As I turn my head to the car widow once again, I realize we already made it to our high school. As I step out of the car, I notice my best friend waiting for me, Crimson was her name. I almost Fell due to the blaring noise next to me. My brother had slammed his car door, he really was pissed, I mean I would be too but still I-I just feel dreadful about the whole situation.

As he sprinted next to me, we made eye contact. I couldn’t explain the emotions I saw in his eyes pain, Suffering, sorrow and most importantly he was hurt, he was hurt by the things I had told him. I couldn’t help the throbbing pain in my chest. My knees felt week like I was about to fall, and I was already a second away from bawling my eyes out until I had no tears left to cry.

 That was until Crimson came into my point of view. I quickly wiped away the tears forming in the corner of my eyes with my palms. “Morning Amy” Crimson says in her soothing voice which never fails to calm me down.” Hey” I reply, not as enthusiastically as I normally would.   

  “I can tell you’re not in the mood to talk right now how about we just head to the roof before class starts there’s still like 10 minutes, plus Jaiden and Claudia are there.” Jaiden has been Crimsons and I’s best friend since elementary school.  Claudia on the other hand we’ve only known since our last year of middle school, but were all still very good friends with eachother.” Sounds good to me” I reply to Crimson after a few moments of silence which she didn’t seem to mind.

 As we make it to the roof in the corner, I see Jaiden and Claudia siting next to eachother. “Good morning!” I hear Jaiden yell across the roof. I small grin was creeping its way at the corner of my mouth. I see Claudia flinch by the sound of Jaiden’s voice. I giggle to myself at the thought of what was about to happen to poor, poor Jaiden.