The Scottish Thistle and The English Rose by HaylsValo

Chapter 23: Pressure

"Filip... we need to talk." Boo whispered a few days later, her voice low and almost inaudible, her head ducked to hide her brimming eyes. In the days since Cameron Hayes had been shot, things between her and Chibs had improved tenfold, they'd been able to talk over a lot of their relationship issues and were putting their relationship back on track. Chibs infidelity however, still remained an issue. No matter how much Chibs apologised, begged for forgiveness and sang his regrets, Boo just couldn't get past what he had done, couldn't stop the hurt or the mistrust. She couldn't help but picture him with other women... Something that had been even more of an issue while she'd been in New York, something that had totally consumed her, tormented her the entire time she'd been away. Something that had led her to do something very stupid indeed.

"Sure Hen." Chibs nodded rather cheerily, despite the deep sense of dread that had all of a sudden consumed him from the inside, out. He patted the empty space on the couch next to him as he flashed Boo a nervous smile. He knew something was up, that something was very wrong, but he tried to convince himself that he was just being paranoid. Boo however, didn't sit down. She remained standing, kept her head ducked and wrapped her arms tight around herself in a move that came across as both defensive and like she was trying to protect herself. A tight coil of fear wrapped itself tight around Chibs throat as he immediately imagined the worst. "What's up?" he croaked out, reaching his hand out to take Boo's but thinking better of it at once when she seemed to shy away from it as if it were riddled with disease.

"In New York..." Boo began, a soft sob escaping her lips before she could go on. She took a deep breath in order to contain herself, fanned at her face before wiping at her tear filled, stinging eyes. She had to go on; he had to know..."In New York I cheated on you." She blurted out eventually, words so hurried they ran into one another, blurred together. There was a silence that followed, pierced only by the sounds of Boo's shallow, haggard breathing and the soft dripping of her tears as they landed on the hardwood floor below. She knew however, from the feel of the silence, the heaviness of it that Chibs had understood what she had said.

Shaking, lost in some dark abyss that was little more than darkness and pain, Chibs gulped and reached to the side for his whiskey, full to the brim, he downed in one harsh and burning gulp. Boo had cheated on him? She'd been with another man... A man, that wasn't him, had put his hands all over her, had touched her and been inside her, had possessed her in a way that only Chibs ever had before. But now he wasn't the only one, now there was another. The Scotsman felt like he was being torn up inside, that someone had taken a knife to his heart and had shredded it into tiny pieces. He hurt more than he had when Fiona had left him for Jimmy, taking Kerrianne with her, more than he had when Jimmy O had sliced his face open, more than he had when Boo had almost died in his arms... He was suddenly a broken man, a man that felt like death itself. He couldn't think, couldn't breathe.

"What?" he gasped eventually, a startled disbelieving cry. Maybe he'd heard her wrong; maybe she wasn't telling him she was cheating on him, maybe... Chibs didn't have another maybe but he wanted to believe in it all the same. But as much as he wanted to believe otherwise, as much as he wanted to convince himself that Boo hadn't been with another man, he knew he hadn't heard her wrong, knew from the unrelenting, crippling ache that was deep in the pit of his stomach and heart, knew from the look of utmost anguish and remorse on Boo's face that her words were true. She'd been with another man. She'd let him touch her, put his hands all over her, let him be inside of her... Chibs wanted to vomit, but nothing in his stomach seemed to want to come up.

"When I was in New York I was with someone else." Boo confirmed, head still ducked, tears falling so thick and fast they pitter-pattered against the floor below in a lively jingle. She couldn't look up at Chibs, couldn't bear to see what her words had done to him. But he had to know... He had to understand... Boo had no regrets over telling Chibs, none at all, only regrets over hurting him, over making him feel a pain that she only recently had felt herself. She knew how much he'd be hurting, knew how dark his world would just have gotten, probably even more so for the simple fact that he would have never dreamed that she would cheat on him.