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you weren't going to lie to yourself and say that he lost feelings for you didn't hurt, cause it did. you two spent months for your relationship to blossom only for it to slowly wilt again because of miscommunication and misunderstanding. it's disheartening how it all came down to this, really.
you were in the library, usually sitting in the spot akaashi and you would normally sit at. ironic isn't it? for you to be alone in a space where the two of you shared. while it is reassuring the friendship never stopped, it still tore your heart when the relationship kinda just ended. like that.
it's raining. another irony. you told yourself you didn't like him. you told yourself he wasted your time. you told yourself you were just friends and that's it. why is it raining? is it because you're sad? is it because the universe is sad for you? you don't need sympathy. you let your jealousy get ahold of you and now you don't know what you are.
you hurriedly returned to the assignment at hand. it was for your european history class. the same class where you met akaashi keiji. the universe is kicking your ass right now.
you two never got in the relationship that you deserved and what everyone was expecting. it's unfair!!!!!!
you and akaashi took the same path to end up in the same destination but at the end, it just separated you two even further. it's unfair!!!!!!!!
the two of you walked on the same road, hand in hand, but the both of you accidentally let go of each other and go different ways. it's unfair, ugh!!!!!
"y'okay hun?" the librarian quietly said as she pat your back, "why do you look stressed?"
you quickly smiled, "the assignment i'm working on is uh...romeo and juliet! it's for a small project," you lied.
"oh alright! tell me if you need anything!" she finalized before pushing the cart to put returned books back.
"i'm sorry for what you're going through and i'm sorry for what i'm about to say," the girl next to you spoke, "but could you please stop crying? i have an important test to study for and your sniffling is very distracting..."
you didn't even notice you were tearing up. EMBARRASSING!
you were taken aback by the embarrassing statement towards you, "oh! right... sorry my sadness is such a burden to you," you said sarcastically as you rolled your eyes.
you were obviously upset and sad and angry but most importantly you were disappointed. not in akaashi, but yourself. you two never dated! wrap your mind around that! you two never shared laughter! you two never shared hugs! you two never shared memories! understand that and get that through your thick skull. but you did understand! you understand that more than he could. so why are you sad? why are you crying over him? why are you letting him mess your makeup? why are you letting him mess you up?
