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"YOU'RE NEVER HOME and when you are, you're all cooped up in the guest room going over techniques or some shit like that! Do you even care about us? About me?" You heaved a sigh before continuing your tangent (or at least that's how your significant other would describe your sudden outburst). "It's always, soccer this, soccer that, I get it already! But all I want is a sliver of your time so I can go to bed knowing that you still want this."
Itoshi Sae was not a cruel man; he just didn't have much common sense when it came to the love dynamic in life. At first he sought nothing more than to be the best in the world, yet that all changed the moment he met you. As cliche as it may be, he admired you. From the way your smile could light up the dim atmosphere of a room, to how your eyes would light up in excitement when someone asked about something you enjoyed.
To him, you were perfect.
However, as his career in the soccer industry grew, his drunken affection sobered up into his usual murky persona. He became more distant, training constantly to prepare for the endless amounts of games he was about to play. You respected that, but you felt toxicity simmer in the pit of your relationship, you were scared.
"What are you talking about?" Sae pinched the bridge of his nose. He sat on the couch of your shared apartment as you paced the living room in frustration. "I do give you the attention you want, either you don't appreciate it or you're just stupid and too blind to see. Why are you getting upset over something so fucking minor?" Maybe he was a bit harsh on his words, though he certainly didn't mean it.
With that, you shattered.
You felt the salt contaminated tears spew down your face, replacing the warmth of what should've been Sae to caress your cheek. You turned to the bedroom, walking down the hall without looking back. Nausea filled your stomach, your head spun like the Earth on it's axel.
Was this the end?
If you had better communication could you have saved this? You had every right to be mad at the fact that he wasn't putting effort in keeping the energy alive. A one sided thing hurts the most.
Interrupting you from your mini self pity session was a knock on the door. You ignored it, your face flushed as you buried your self into the mattress, the silk duvet enveloping your figure. The ache in your heart only made your crying worse, practically suffocating you. Could you have dealt with the situation a little less messy? Possibly. But the victim of the pain is never the one to blame.
The person outside the room, Sae, grew impatient. He opened the door, shutting it behind him quietly upon entering. Without saying anything he sat down on his side of the bed, giving you enough space to take a breather but close enough to feel the hurt he caused radiate off of you.
He was an idiot. A complete lovesick fool who didn't know what he was doing.
Sae placed a hand on your back, tracing circles onto the surface of your skin.
An apology would be nice.
Truth be told, his pride was far too big to admit his wrongdoing. Regardless, he decided that in order to be the bigger person, he needed to put away whatever insecurities he might have accumulated through his journey as an athlete and do what's right. "I'm sorry," he started softly.
"I was being irrational and wasn't thinking clearly. Practice was unbelievably stressful today." He pursed his lips together, thinking of what to say next. "I understand that doesn't justify my actions, I'm sorry I took my anger out on you. Whatever I said, I am highly aware I can never take it back and expect everything to be okay. But I want you to know that I did not, and never will mean it."
This was out of character for a guy like him, you knew it was hard on him as he almost stammered his words. You washed your stubbornness away, choosing to roll over and look him in the eye for the first time since you stormed off. "You're an asshole."
"I know."
You sat up, scooting yourself closer to the male, "Words can't describe how much you make me want to shit myself. But leaving you would only hurt me more." You fiddled with your fingers in your lap until Sae gently grabbed your hand, blanketing your knuckles. "I can't bring myself to hate you, I don't think I ever will."
Sae nodded, he understood completely.
"I just need you to promise me one thing, Sae."
"Anything."
"Promise that from now on, we'll have better communication."
"I promise."
A smile laced your lips, feeling the touch of your boyfriend as he reached up to wipe your tear stained face. The pad of his thumb brushing against the brim of your eyes, sloping down to embrace the lining of your jaw. He proceeded to plant his lips against yours, igniting sparks of pure euphoria as you melted against his touch.
Itoshi Sae was not a cruel man, he just needed a few life lessons to change into a better one.
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🍮 author's note ; imagine if this shit didn't save again lmfao
