Together in unity

CHAPTER 6: Depression & Suicide

After the spring break was over I had to change schools because my family and I moved to Florida and now I attend South Beach, which by the way was primarily white. At first, the thought of switching schools got me hyped because I wanted to make new friends, which I did. My brother and I usually go to the same schools together, but after what happened 2 months ago he decided that he wanted to go to another school. On the first day that I attended South Beach High, I received a lot of looks and I felt very uncomfortable. But I had friends that understood what I was going through, so they helped me around the school. Even though my friends are a great help I had a whole deal of mental health issues. Ever since dad was promoted, every day there would be mobs screaming for my family to leave the town and they even threatened to kill us in our sleep. School is even worse, everyday I have to endure Mark's daily beatings and bullying. It's been 3 months now and school is almost over and all I want is the pain to stop, every time when someone whispers negro under their breath I feel like I've been shot by a million bullets. Even Sam, Pedro, and Amy wouldn't understand, but there is one. Mr, Miller. After meeting Mr.Miller for the first time when I went to work with my dad he's been teaching me engineering in secret. And we both have a connection and our relationship is more like a father and son. Mr. Miller is the only person that understands what I'm going through because he too went through my experience and he comforted me. However, I can't say that he is alive because... He was shot to death by the police 27 times because he was thought to have stolen something important from Rayman Tech. My fears of the police came crawling up my back. You're going to be killed, it said and at that point I needed someone, but the only people I had were my friends. The only person that I had a connection with is now gone and I have no one who would understand my problems, not even my parents because they think I'm untrustworthy.

I'm done with the constant bullying, I'm done with the fighting, I've had it with the mobs, and all of this is because I'm black. Why do I have to be this color, why do I have to be treated like this. I wish Sam and the others could help but they can't. Oh, dear god, please help me. I can't anymore. I've been in 8 fights with Mark, I've been punched 67 times in the face, I'm horrified, Please help me or I'll take my life.

That day when I thought about suicide I thought it was the best option for me so I wouldn't have to endure the pain of losing a loved one or losing the trust of the family. Every day after school I would always lock myself in my room crying myself to sleep. After Mr. Miller's death, my grades were slipping, and my parents noticed I was depressed, they tried to help but it didn't work.I had nothing to live for anymore all I wanted to is just dye, so I decided to write a suicide note on May 29th two days before school ends. And the note said

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To my dear family and friends,

If you're reading this by the time you had read this letter I've hanged myself. I can't live anymore because I'm unworthy to live a happy life. I'm not proud of who I've become. With all of the racism going on in this town I feel that my fears have grown. Every day I watch loved ones being killed and Harassed. I'm sickened by the racial comments and the bullying I've received. This Town needs to be together and live in peace, that's all I'm asking for. All I want is Unity. And yet again I'm truly sorry.

Goodbye forever, TOri Thompson

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The good thing that happened was I didn't kill myself all thanks to my friends. When I went to school 2 days ago I had the letter in my backpack and it fell out when I walked with Sam and Amy, and when I got home I realized it was gone. I had planned to commit suicide 2 weeks after I wrote the letter, but for some reason losing that letter was my only way out. But I ignored that thought and continued with my plan to commit suicide 2 weeks prior. And when that day came, my last day on earth I felt like every second I'm regretting this decision. I was in a dark room all by myself alone and I was about to take my own life. I had a support system but I didn't take the time to talk to them and tell them how I feel. Every time a hear my heart beat I grow more nervous and I felt like I wasn't ready or I was doing something stupid. The moment that I realized that if.. Just if I hanged myself my whole family would have a negative impact due to my death, just like Mr.Miller's. I cried. My tears were like waterfalls, the more I cried the louder I got. Then I heard footsteps coming from my door.

Knock ... Knock

'' TORI OPEN THE DOOR. Please don't go.'' That voice sounded like Amy

'' Tori please my sweet baby don't go, we love you. Your mama wants you.'' said my mother sobbing

'' Tori, this is Sam. Tori if you can hear me please don't do it, when you moved here you were my first real friend and we've had so much in common. We had a lot of fun, please don't kill yourself. We love you.'' Sam said sobbing.

'' What's going on and why are you all crying in front of Tori's door,''Said my father

'' He killed himself.'' My mother said as she sobbs

'' HE DID WHAT!!!'' I heard my father yelled through the door

As I decided to make my last decision I decided to hang myself. As I heard the banging and then it opened. However, it wasn't too late. I was on the hair the moment it opened.

'' TORI!,''My father yelled as he sobbed and grabbed me the moment before I was about to hang myself.

'' Oh My GOD,'' I heard my brother Andrew from my door

'' Tori... Tori... What did you do!.'' My brother ran and hugged me

'' I'm sorry little bro for treating you like this, please don't kill yourself because without you I wouldn't alive. I'm sorry little, I shutten had an outburst the moment you decided to fight Mark.'' Andrew Whispered through my ears.

'' Oh my sweet boy, please don't ever do that you almost kill me half to death. I love so much even though I may be hard on you sometimes.'' My mother said,

I knew I had a support system and the thought of them breaking my door just to save me made me feel very emotional. All I wanted was to be appreciated based on who I am as a person. And thanks to Mr.Miller he made me realize that the people that you've got and love you are those that would support you no matter what. And as everyone hugged me the first thing that I looked at was the red rose my grandmother gave me. At this point I understand why she gave it to me; it represents unity. And that's what the town of South Beach needs is unity.