𝖵𝖾𝗇𝗀𝖾𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾 (𝖩𝖾𝗈𝗇𝗀 𝖸𝗈𝗈𝗇𝗈𝗁/𝖩𝖺𝖾𝗁𝗒𝗎𝗇)

𝕿𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞-𝖙𝖜𝖔

𝔅𝔦𝔤𝔤𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔣𝔢𝔞𝔯; 𝔞𝔟𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔬𝔫𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱

"Where have you been?" Yoonoh stood up from the couch approaching the woman who arrive back home late at night. "I was with Rae" Jiyoon answers. "You're close now?" He raise a brow. "So close" The woman lift her phone showing him a picture of the two. "How about me? Why did you not ask me to tag along?" He whines. "It's a girls night out"

"I'm one of the girls too!" He continue to whines. "You said you're straight as ruler" Jiyoon replied. "But I never said I wasn't part of the group, after all, I was the reason why and how you met Rae" He wiggles his brows. "Are you saying own Rae?" Jiyoon question. "I own him, he said it's himself"

"He would be delighted to hear that" Jiyoon laughs going upstairs. "One of the girls, huh?" Taeil laughs. "Were you jealous because Jiyoon is out with Rae instead of you?" Mark adds. "Just so you know, Rae is gay. He's even interested to you, I don't think he will get Jiyoon from you" Taeyong replied. "Whatever. Jiyoon!" He shouts running upstairs.

"I'm getting worried" Mark let out a deep sigh. "Why?" Taeil replied. "Jaehyun, he forgot that he never ended his mess yet." He answers. "I'll make sure to talk to him later. For now, let's let him spend some alone time with Jiyoon" The older man answers. "I'm way too young to be an uncle"

"What do you mean?" Jaemin asks. "They're definitely doing it" Taeyong click his tongue while shaking his head. "Why not? They're a couple and it's fine. Jaehyun is financially stable. Money first before family" Renjun replied. "It's not about the money" Mark look down. "It's about the trouble"

"If a child would enter this messy picture, it gets messier." Mark added. "But if a child really comes in, we can't do anything about it. If aborting the child is your choice, it's like the innocent human is already in the picture and gets killed" Taeil sighs. "This is why we should tell Jaehyun to not relax too much. Who knows? Ji Jiwon is preparing for something big"

"Hyung" Jisung calls. "I always hears Jaehyun-hyung every night, crying like he's in pain. I wanted to barge in the other room but I had no guts. I know he's been crying about everything. His family, the mess and Jiyoon. I think..." Jisung sighs. "He deserve to have a little break"

"Family? Did Jaehyun told you something?" Taeil frowns. "Yeah, he told me. He said he's adopted" That made everyone in the living room fall into silence. "Adopted? Who? Jaehyun?" Mark reply. "Yeah, he said he don't know where his biological father is. And his Mom won't tell him a thing about it. That' day....when he comes back from visiting the Vivian's..."

"He found out everything"

"You know..." Taeil starts. "I sometimes pity Jaehyun, but I don't want him to know so I just go with the flow. Seeing Jaehyun everyday, taking care of everything without complaining made me think that..." Taeil speaks. "He would rather struggle with everything than be alone. If you think Jiyoon is his biggest fear, it's not her. It's..."

"It's abandonment. He hated being abandoned"

"I've known Jaehyun for so long. I know what he went through. He grew up alone, and getting bullied by the Vivian's. Those monsters even left a memory in his body. Up until the age of 15, he celebrates his birthday alone. Until he reach 17 or 18 and he met Jiyoon"

"The woman who understands him and listen to his rants, whether they are useless or not."

"What do you mean he grew up alone? They were so close, him and his mother" Renjun respond. "Their closeness, it's just Jaehyun missing his Mom so much. He never throw a pit or be angry with his Mom because it's rare of them meeting. In that short amount of time, he would spend his time with his Mom to catch up and forget about his problems. To him...time is gold "

"Is that why you never leave Jaehyun? Even if it's so damn dangerous" Mark asks. "Yeah, I don't want to see Jaehyun in pain. Jiyoon has left him once already. However, he watch her from afar. But still, I know all the painful nights of Jaehyun. Wherein he would cry his eyes out in the evening and smile to us in the morning"

Yoonoh quietly let out a chuckle wiping the tear that fell from his eyes. Listening to his friends talking about all the things he thought only him knows made him tear up a little. He didn't know he was so miserable and so obvious. He never wanted to keep it a secret but he don't want to reveal it to the world as well.

Now that he think about it, he suddenly remember all the painful nights he went through. And all the things he tried so hard to pull himself up just to not fall. He somehow manage to pull himself up, barely, and all he knows, he don't want to go through it again. Not again.

Beating the whispers in his ear, telling him someone would abandoned him again was the harder thing to do. Sometimes he would metaphorically believe that someone would really abandoned him one day. And it's his biggest fear.

Speaking of his Mom, his Mom know that he really fears of being abandoned and yet, she abandoned him. "You know it, why?" He ask himself. His chest tighten feeling a pain in his heart. His tears automatically build up in the corner of his eyes. The pain is too much. No matter how much bullet he takes, the pain inside him hurts more than anything.

He always felt this pain, how come it's so painful whenever he feels it again? How come he never get used to the pain?

Why is it so painful? Why?