boomer clause real!?!?!?

boomie woomie clause

he was not fit for this. he was not fit for this at all.

but here boomer was, on top of their boyfriend's house, dressed in a white t-shirt under a red jacket with white fur around it, closed with a belt that should be around his pants, but was around his waist being held up by his hips. he had red pajama pants and black snow boots to top the look off, and held two presents. he was dressed as mother fucking santa and doing the most for a singular day. one for his boyfriend, and one for his boyfriend's brother.

would this be considered creepy? probably... but if he was just playing santa! that's what he was supposed to do! boomer had found out recently that his boyfriend, punz's brother, purpled, had still believed in santa though being eight. boomer stopped believing in santa when they were five... mainly because their mom wouldn't let mr claus get credit for the stuff she bought with her hard earned money. at least punz was letting purpled be a child.

boomer thought this would be a cute idea, knowing how happy purpled would be, and how happy punz would be because of the two. a deal for a deal, he supposed. though it served as a struggle to try and get up onto the roof of punz's house (all while being stealthy, they didn't want anyone to know he was there) he didn't let it get in his way.

but here was the bigger issue. ya see, most houses have chimneys that santa usually goes down in to drop off presents. and chimneys are used to let smoke out from fires... and boomer wasn't really looking forward to be burnt into a crisp today.

luckily, there wasn't any smoke that'd show if the chimney was in use or not.

but... would he be able to fit in the chimney? what if they got stuck? oh well, he was gonna try anyways.

boomer placed their hands on top of the chimney, pushing himself up onto it. they let their feet dangle inside of the chimney, contemplating how he'd drop down without badly injuring himself. he wasn't going to break a leg for some christmas gag, not at all.

after thinking for a minute, boomer had came to a decision: wall hop down the chimney. their shoes against the rough surface of the bricks would cause enough friction to be able to stop himself if needed. boomer placed both of his feet on each side inside the chimney, sinking inside the tunnel.

the chimney was actually not that long. yeah, it was long enough to get injured, but nothing bad as breaking a bone. one thing boomer noticed right away is how dirty it was. which made sense... it's a chimney. the bottom of his shoes picked up the ash from the chimney whenever they'd bring a foot downwards.

boomer was finally at a safe distance to jump down onto the unlit fireplace, doing just that, shoes huffing ash from underneath them as they made a thud. he crouched down, looking around the living room. "uh, punz, i heard something the living room," boomer could hear from the kitchen, voice obviously belonging to purpled. maybe it wasn't a good idea to dress up as santa clause and break into his boyfriend's house. punz followed purpled into the living room, a knife in his hand ready to attack the intruder.

a look of confusion crept onto punz's face. how the fuck was boomer in his house? well, he could put together that they travelled through his chimney... but why?

"it's santa!" purpled squealed, jumping up and down ecstatically. that's why. punz didn't notice the outfit boomer wore, now dirty from climbing down the chimney, even getting ash in his hair that would definitely be a pain to try and get out later. "uh..." boomer's brain went blank for a moment. what the fuck does santa say again? oh yeah, "ho ho ho, merry christmas kiddo!" he snuck a glance at punz, giving him a subtle wink before looking back at the younger. "thank you santa! merry christmas to you too!" the boy spoke so fast, boomer could barely keep up.

"calm down purpled, santa's pretty old and he won't be able to keep up with you," punz played along, but boomer still felt slightly offended. pretty old? punz was literally older than them! boomer got from inside the chimney, standing up with a bag of presents in his hand. there was six in the bag, three for purpled, and three for punz. boomer emptied the bag in front of the two, revealing the presents.

boomer motioned for purpled to come closer, who happily obliged. "i brought three presents, three for you, and three for your brother," boomer explained, pointing at the presents that belong to purpled. "how did you know that's my brother?" purpled questioned, looking up at boomer. oh fuck, he's smart. luckily, the question wasn't too hard. "i'm santa, i have to know these things! how else would i know who to bring presents?" solid answer. purpled nodded.

"well," punz butted in. "why don't you open your presents while i talk to mr clause here?" boomer looked up at punz, who looked somewhat upset. oh shit. "alright, see you santa!" purpled smiled as the two walked away from the child.

"hey punzski!" boomer started, trying to lighten the mood for whatever was about to come next. "are you crazy?" punz asked. "huh?" "you could've hurt yourself, dude. what if you fell while coming down there?"

so that's what this was about. glad to know punz cared. "but i'm not hurt right now, am i?" boomer grinned widely. "...no, but you're dirty. you got the dust shit in your hair." punz mentioned, looking up at the dirtied silver hair. "aw shit really?" boomer went over to the random mirror punz kept in in the middle of his hallway (that surprisingly hadn't been broken yet) and he was right. knowing how long it'd take to get all of that out made boomer upset, even just seeing that in his hair ruined their entire mood and made them want to break so much shit.

punz must've noticed how annoyed boomer was. "look, why don't we just take a bath? i was going to take one anyways, and you definitely need one." boomer just nodded, too upset to reply verbally.

-----

the two finished with the bath... taking longer than anticipated... for reasons. whoops. boomer wore punz's clothes, and punz wore his own. "you can't just show yourself to purpled now," punz realized. "he'll realize that you were santa all this time." boomer nodded. "i can go out through the back door, and then you can tell him santa left," boomer came up with. "then after a few, i'll knock and pretend like i just came over."

it was pretty well thought out, so they went with that for now... but purpled wasn't stupid. spoiler alert: purpled cried because he came to the realization that santa was in fact, not real.