Just as it

(1)

It's been three months and I haven't thought of him for not even a single minute. Now standing here in this art gallery with a glass of champagne in my hand, I'm thinking of him. I don't understand why? I mean why now?
That's ended a long time back, I remind myself staring at everyone, and I notice that except me everyone is in pairs. I asked Kate to accompany me but she doesn't like galleries. (Kate, i mean Katherine is my neighbor and friend next door. it's a bliss to have a friend who lives next door but sometimes her vague partying habit annoys me. it's not like i don't like parties it's just not my type party. you might know 'the girly girl party nights' that is not really my type.) 

 Any ways here I'm all by myself. 

To forget about the endless conversations in my mind, I start wandering around to see the paintings. The first painting I come across is painted in shades of red, with a few strokes of white and black in between (sort of painted oddly). It doesn't have any defined shape which makes it different from the normal paintings. And just by staring at it for a few seconds it calms me down. I don't know why but it sort of does.(I have always loved colors, and the shades of red reminds me of MARVEL, yeah the marvel studios that makes superhero movies. I'm sure there might be any girls like who loves action and science fiction at the same time. But none of my friends actually like marvel, so all of my excitement stays in my head). Well what I could conclude from it was that the red in the painting depicts may be blood bath, war perhaps with white to be the symbol of defeat accepted and black to be the non-ending tragedy. Or may the red depicts endless love, white to be the sign of purity and promises and black strokes to be the sign of dark desires. I tilt my head slightly towards the right to look at it with different perception. and by looking at the painting like that I think  maybe the painting means the sign of danger (red), with black to be the evil fighting against the white. Reminding us that, 'the darker the darkness the brighter the light.' 

Well there can be endless possibilities and that makes me love art.

What the person currently feels is what he sees in the painting, I guess. It's true for me. Anyways, I move forward to the next painting, and what I see is a little difficult to tell. It's lines painted in a way to make any sense to me. Maybe it does to the artist. And I quickly move to the next. After about seeing six or eight paintings. I'm completely lost, smiling and giggling at my own thoughts. lost in the world of art, I feel like a six-year-old kid again. it reminds me how much I wanted to be an artist. though i still sketch but just for fun.

Its always been difficult for me to imagine myself in one profession. it was like I wanted to live ten lives in one life. I know it sounds stupid and insane. But I saw myself as an artist, I know I am not so good at it but I'm not that bad at it, i convince myself. I saw myself as a musician in my imagination playing piano, drums and guitar, music is always been in my veins. It always makes me cheer up. And I have started learning to play piano. I also saw myself as working at a big company sitting in my personal office and just minding my own business. But its not the end, one side of me sees my self as a girly girl. With perfect hair. And other side with a good number of tattoos and a boy cut, blue hair. With piercings. I know it feels like two souls in one. But doesn't everyone has two sides. Like the good and bad. Like Back and white goes hand in hand. I feel like I have thousand shades of grey in me, making it difficult for me to reach to black and white. I'm snapped out of my thoughts, spilling a few drops of champagne on my dress. Now the hall is full of crowd, making it difficult to even breath...

(well I'm not a writer or even not studying English lit, it's just an extract of my thoughts and i really hope if you tell me what you think about it. whether good or bad, I'm open to both. I just hope you share your thoughts. thank u for reading)