COLLECTION OF ME

2.

JUST TEXT ME, GODDAMN IT!
these days i'm trying not to check my phone so often,
i'm scared to death to see an empty notification center
no messages from him
it scares the hell out of me the possibility of him not missing me
as much as i miss him
i came to see my family for Christmas and for the new year's in another city
we haven't talked much
he is probably seeing his relatives too
but then, i don't know, cause he doesn't tell me
maybe he's not talking too much cause he wants me to enjoy quality time with my family
but then, again, i don't know, cause he doesn't tell me
we hardly texted yesterday,
i really hope for the best
because i'm scared he's losing interest in me
which i don't think is completely off the table
given i'm not the most interesting person you'll ever meet
but still it would hurt. so. bad.
people ask me if we're dating
i really don't know
i don't know how to answer
i don't know if i should say yes and have my heart broken later on
or if i should say no and keep telling myself this won't go anywhere
my brain keeps telling me this won't go anywhere as a defense mechanism
my heart's too fragile
i'm scared of how much i can feel for him
i'm scared he won't be able to feel the same for me
and i'll be left in pieces of dreams i had for what we could be

SLOW DOWN
i'll take a step back and think things through
cause maybe i missed you more than you missed me
and i don't know if that's how things should go

DON'T RUIN IT
i need someone to love me back and forth, everything i am or was, to dare to make me scared of when they're leaving
i need someone to love me when the night's all blurred, in freezing waves of hurt,
would you stay right there?
where easy summer breeze, feels refreshing on my skin,
i've always wanted this but i was too afraid i might ruin it
maybe that's why i ruined it
feels like every word i've ever written
designed this very moment
will my voice silence your heart's torment?
like yours did mine?
i need someone to understand i might go along, i might wanna stay home, i might stop in the middle of the road
i need someone to know that sometimes i'm bored, so i'll talk about anything even if they don't like it
and i just don't wanna feel bad about it
just keep that in mind, and in case you need someone like you always wanted
i might be that person
the one who feels like easy summer breeze, refreshing on your skin,
you've always wanted this but you were too afraid you'd might ruin it
maybe that's why you ruined it
feels like every word you've ever said
designed this very moment
and i'll know my voice will silence your heart's torment
like yours did mine