My mind lays restful on my goose feather pillow
I am comforted by my eyes feeling heavy and pulling me into sleep deeper and deeper
My heart pounds and fades into a constant whisper
My mattress engulfs my body
I am now sure that I'm asleep
My vision is black
Unexpected flutters of light filter my inner thoughts
I don't feel in control
My entirety has been transported to somewhere I have been so many times but I never can recognise
I try to stay calm
As soon as I feel insecure my thoughts are intruded by fears
I believe this is real
How can I escape?
Everything I've ever known has been erased and I'm not sure how to cope
I sweat
I panic
I run
My body pounds in time with my racing heart
Tears run down my face although my eyes are not open
I know I need you to make me feel safe but I no longer known who you are
My tears drip like a loose tap onto my bare chest and echo like a beating drum
I am awake
Clutching onto my duvet with my whole body
I still feel unsafe
I still need you but I'm coming into consciousness and I now know who you are
Missing you hurts more now
I scan my room to assure myself
I grab an item of yours and remind myself
In absence the heart grows fonder
