She's No Longer With The Band

Ten.

Aubrey's Point of View:

Needless to say, that entire thing was not only humiliating, and horrifying but also traumatizing.

It's been a couple of days since the entire thing, so I've had a bit of time to be by myself and really just attempt to process it all. Part of me has been struggling with whether to believe Nate or not. What he said seems truthful, and he seemed like he was being genuine- but after everything that's happened... it's taking a lot for me to believe every word of what he said.

And even if it's all true, I still don't know how to feel.

But I'm still angry over the entire thing, no matter how it happened or what went into it all. I'm still mad. I have every right to be acting the way I am, even if it's irrational. So much shit has happened to me, I can't sit back and be the polite little goody two shoes anymore. If this is me "lashing out", then so be it. I'm not hurting anyone important... that is.

So I'm sticking with Devil's Spawn, for now.

And of course being in Hollywood, we have a big party to attend tonight.

I walked into the party with the guys, it's a familiar scene, you know? Colorful fluorescent lights shine throughout the enormous home. Girls are dressed in skirts that are the size of a belt, guys that smell of liquor and marijuana roam around the scene casually. There truly is nothing I love more than going to these ridiculous Hollywood parties filled with faker than fake "A List" celebs.

Whoever's house this is, I didn't even care enough to ask is playing some good music. I'll give them that at least, and the fact that they have a gigantic house is obviously a plus. It gives me the option to explore, and well, hide. The house is blasting popular 90's hits and what else can I say except that the music is good.

Brady has an arm laced around my bare shoulders as we walk through the big extravaganza. We're getting looks left and right, and by now I'm used to it.

A lot of people love Devil's Spawn, but a lot of people also hate them. And considering everyone loves to believe that lie that's circulated that I was the one who broke Nate DeRosé's heart, I've got myself some enemies as well. Well quite frankly I don't like feelings and getting all emotional and shit, but since this is my inner dialogue and all, I'm allowed to tell the truth.

Nate did break my heart. So extremely bad.

But he'll never get to truthfully know that.

Even if he had me sobbing while locked up a week ago.

We're going to forget that that ever happened. That was so fucking weak on my part, and I'm honestly mortified that I let him see me in such a state. Like god, he can't know that I have emotions and that I still often ache for him. All the while, while still despising every ounce of him.

I fucking hate him.

"You look gorgeous by the way..." Brady whispered into my ear, brushing a few loose strands of hair behind my ear. "If this isn't the 80th time I've told you," He added gently which got a small laugh out of me.

"Thank you," I whispered back as we continued to walk. "So do you,"

"Alright," Brady leaned down and stopped us in our tracks. "I'm going to get some drinks with the guys," He nodded at me. 

"Have fun," I replied with a subtle smile.

He rubbed his hand up and down my arm before walking past me.

Now I can explore.

"Aubrey!"

Or so I thought.

I resisted the obvious urge to roll my eyes and turned around to greet the peppy voice. I was greeted by a tan blonde girl with brown eyes and a wide stretched smile, a tall black girl with long neon pink hair, and then a short red head who was dressed in all white. I didn't know which girl had screeched my name a second ago, but they were all smiling brightly.