meraki || paul lahote

Treize: Bella's Lullaby

A few weeks had passed since Valentina's gender reveal, and Bella had sat in on countless discussions about the upcoming baby shower. She could never give any great ideas, however, and the whole ordeal eventually started to suffocate her. As much as Jake and Val had helped her in the depressive state she had been in over Edward, knowing that his entire family came back without him just made her fucking sad.

At one point, Bella could imagine her entire future, and all of it surrounded Edward. Looking back, she could see just how absolutely stupid that was to let her mind be encapsulated by the idea that he would even be willing to spend eternity with her. The Cullens' return was definitely to play with her mind, just another manipulation tactic on his part. Once she reflected on that, however, it was entirely self absorbed to think everything they did somehow revolved around her.

Besides, as happy as she was for Val, and by association - Paul, she had never been too interested in children. Seeing Valentina as excited as she was about the twins was enough of a reason for her to trudge through conversations which held topics she knew nothing about. Jake had been busy, much to her aggravation, with pack responsibilities. Sam had given some leeway to Leah and Paul, having found their imprints, which left the other to pick up their slack. Whenever Jake wasn't patrolling, or sitting through long meetings about vampires, he was exhausted, and slept until he had something else to do.

After Edward had left, Bella hated the feeling of being alone, it was mind-numbingly depressing. In all honesty, though, she had made it that way. Her lack of self-care and want - if not need - for him to come back to her made for a pretty lackluster environment. Now, being alone wasn't a chore, but a way to decompress. Even then, she still hated the thoughts about what her life could have been like that occasionally slipped through her brain. They made it that much harder to get over him, even though she convinced everyone she already was. It hadn't been easy, but her friends no longer asked about the Cullens, or him, whenever lunch rolled around, nor did they have to stop their incessant whispers about her - because it was no longer interesting and she was better.

With graduation approaching, Bella had also made her college decisions. Her acceptance to Dartmouth arrived in February, when she had tapered off the rest of the world. Charlie still made the motion to approve her for next Fall, but she could tell he was constantly worried about the cost. Even with her scholarships and accolades, she hadn't received a full ride, so it would still cost a hefty amount. Still set on going, she talked to her father about her options, and decided to take a gap year, where she could make some money, and hopefully graduate with less debt. They were both accepting of this decision, and agreed that it was the best route. Who cares if she would be a year older than most of the students in her grade? She deserved an Ivy League education, especially after all she had been through. What plagued her mind now, however, was telling Val and Jake that she would be moving across the country in a year, leaving them temporarily.

Mr. and Mrs. Newton graciously accepted her return to the store, though they figured it wouldn't be very long until she desired a job that paid much more than they could offer. Bella was a hard worker, though, and they would appreciate her for as long as they could. She apologized for her many missed months, but they waved it off, just happy to have her back, especially after what their son had relayed to them about her wellbeing. She realized that everyone if Forks had fully expected to be attending her funeral, and that broke her a little. The cautious smiles and avoidance of the topic that she knew they were dying to know made her slightly angry, but she knew they would never overstep their bounds, specifically for Charlie's sake.