It amazes me how much can change in one minute. Less, a second. Me staring at the horizon, almost dozing off, my hand searching for the thermos. A blink away, the whole world swirling above me. It almost feels like a dream in slow motion, the clink of glass against metal. The slow but sure pull of gravity, threateningly strong. And then, the stop of noise and time, eyes wide, trying to see and stop what will eventually happen. To avoid the pain. To go back home, back to bed, get a kiss goodnight, a warm hug already tucked in, the almost imperceptible click of the light switch and then the soft slide into unconsciousness. Oh, how I long for that pleasant feeling of love. If I had the power to turn time, I'd hug them a little bit longer. Feel their warmth. But now, I can only long for that fondness. Apologize for everything, even though they had long forgiven me. I wish and long and grasp for that reality, slipping into my dreams, daydreams, and eventually nightmares where your faces are twisted and dark. My hands splurged with red, coughing up dark red liquid, trying to get a hold of you. But you just turn away, and I just can't hold your sleeve, pull you close, safely in my chest. I want to run away. I want to be able to protect you from this whole new pain. As darkness engulfs me, I try to catch a glimpse of you once more. Just to see your pretty eyes, your beautiful hair once more. Just one more chance. Just one more.
