𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔

01

i never really understood how people changed. how could someone go from being a certain way to being a completely different person in such a small amount of time.

when my parents made me move to Nagoya, I knew things would change, it was inevitable. but that didn't stop me from having some hope that things could return to the way that they were.

but just because I missed my hometown, doesn't mean I didn't enjoy my life in tokyo. I made a lot of friends and I couldn't be more grateful.

I met a nice girl named lez who introduced me to her best friend, amari. they were there for me when no one else was and I couldn't thank them enough.

it's hard moving cities, especially with so much to leave behind.

i missed my friends and family, back in miyagi. but I know they'd be there waiting for me. or at least I hoped.

a lot can change in 5 years, so I didn't know what to expect.

I missed sugawara, my best friend who was always there to make me laugh. And I missed daichi, who always pushed me to try new things. I missed asahi, he's such a caring person and a good listener.

but one person that I really missed was, yachi.

yachi hitoka.

a girl who could never speak her mind and always hid behind her hair. I remember asking her to be managers with me, that was where we met.

at first I didn't think anything of it, she just a friend. but after months of knowing her, I felt like I knew her better than myself. I knew how she acted when she felt uncomfortable, or upset, or angry, or sad. I understood her sense of humor, and what foods she liked.

I've met her family, and her friends from previous schools. we had gotten so close and it hurt me most when I had to leave her.

maybe because of one reason I didn't want to admit to myself.

one reason I always shoved down deep inside of me.

the look on her face when I told her I was moving honestly made me want to cry. she looked so hurt, like she was never going to see me again.

i assured her I would be back soon to visit.

but unfortunately I never completed my promise.

year after year, i made excuses to not see her again. but if you were to ever ask me why, I wouldn't have a clear answer. i just couldn't bring myself, to seeing her again.

but because I hated her. it wasn't that at all, I felt so comfortable with her. It was just that, I didn't want to see her again and remind myself of the feelings I've had suppressed all these years.

whenever the team would call me I would make excuses as to why I had to go whenever she would speak. I couldn't imagine how was feeling but I couldn't bring myself to face her.

but even after all of this, here I was, on a train back to miyagi. my hands got sweaty when thinking about it.

I shut up eyes tightly and just breathe in and out as I lean back in it chair, I look our the window at the view as the tress merge into a single color and rapidly pass by.

i decide a nap would be best to calm my nerves, I close my eyes and I drift to sleep.

+ + +

i can feel my legs vibrating as i rub my eyes awake. I pull out my phone and see a text from the group chat I have with my friends.

mari!! | 14:09
kiyooooooo did u get to miyagi yet?

lez <3 | 14:13
girl don't forget 2 text us when u get there !

mari!! | 14:14
yeah we wanna make sure u got there safe

kiyo:) | 14:15
hii guys!! yes I'm safe and no I have not gotten to miyagi yet unfortunately:(

mari!! | 14:16
imy so much

lez <3 | 14:16
me too:(( it's not too late to change ur mind and come back home

kiyo:) | 14:17
stop yk I can't do that

mari!! | 14:17
LMFAO I hope u have fun there babe

lez <3 | 14:18
yeah have fun!!! imyyyyy

as I smiled to myself and pressed the button that turned my screen black I look out the window.

I'm close to miyagi, I can feel it.

these trees start to feel more similar by the second.

❦
LUVLIVENUS