𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙏𝙍𝙊𝙐𝘽𝙇𝙀𝘿 𝙊𝙉𝙀𝙎 [BxB] ✔️

31.| Starting over

LOGAN'S POV

I wanted to move on. 

But I couldn't. How could I?

His rough fingers glazed across my soft honey skin, gliding over every dip and crevice. His thumb ran soothing circles on my back as they made their way up to my chest- his lips smoothly kissed my neck- my chin, then my finally my lips. I fell into a world or euphoria, bliss, lust and nothingness. I welcomed it with wide open arms, more then happy to comply.  

It made me forget about my trauma, about the constant problems in my life.

But it also made me blind. 

Very blind. 

Nothing could have prepared me for that day. All those secrets, released into the world. The truth was out- and no one was ready for it.

The group was the first to fall apart.

It was both relieving and sad. I've been wanting to leave for some time now- but joining a gang is a lot more easier than leaving one. So when it dissolved, I felt free. Like bricks that I've been carrying around on my shoulders for years suddenly disappeared. I was released from the cage I've been trapped in for years.

But on the other hand- it was sad. All the time, money and energy spent building up this gang into what it was known for- gone. All the memories, bad and good, flushed away. 

"Just think of it as distant memories." Valentino suggested.

I laughed at his advice. "Easier said than done." I mumbled. 

It was almost like me and Val had switched roles in the family. He woke me up in the morning, made sure I ate breakfast, then drove Calister to school. He called from his school to make sure I had my lunch, and would know immediately if I was lying, and would drive back home during his lunch break, and bring me food. 

He checked on me during the night and was constantly texting me. I knew he was just worried about me but it all felt so suffocating. 

I knew I wouldn't be on my feet again, especially after Kelvin left. 

He wanted to better himself.

For me.

I missed him so much. My heart ached for him. To hear his voice one more time, his fingers running along the arches of my skin. I wanted him in-between my legs, to be filled up by him. To have his body on top of mine- our breathless pants mixed into the atmosphere. 

He left to better himself and here I was, lounging around, drowning in my own depression. Chaos erupting around me. 

This situation was getting the best of me when in reality- I should be making the best of the situation.