The mess you've made

Untitled Part 2

Sherlock sat with Sam in his arms, watching a mind numbing children's show with four men in different colour costumes who continually wiggle their fingers. Although the program was probably making Sherlock stupider by the minute it was quite amusing. The men sang songs about the strangest things and danced around as if they had forgotten they are grown men, a dinosaur, a dog and a pirate were also main features in the show. Sherlock found himself smiling as one man continually fell asleep and the others would shout "WAKE UP JEFF!" to startle him awake. The show was quite silly and Sherlock finally understood why everyone was an idiot (Sherlock himself would be an idiot too if he grow up watching such crap).

Sam started to grow restless in Sherlock's arms. He began trying to escape Sherlock's hold and started to whimper again.

"I'll have non of that." Sherlock said as he adjusted the baby in his arms, trying to still the child.

Soon enough Sam began to wail. Screaming and crying and fighting Sherlock's grasp. Sherlock stood up and began to rock the baby just as he'd seen people do before, hoping it will calm the child.

"Shhh. You're giving me a headache." Sherlock scolded.

He began to pace the flat with the wailing child in his arms, raking his mind for something that could possibly calm Sam. Sherlock narrowed the problem to two possible things, 1) he was hungry, or 2) he probably wanted his diaper changed. And since Sherlock didn't know which the baby wanted, he decided he'd try both.

Sherlock slung the baby bag over his shoulder and made his way into the kitchen. He held onto Sam with one arm as he pushed all of his experiments off the table to make room to change Sam. He laid Sam on the table and sat the bag next to him. Sherlock took a fresh diaper and a new change of clothes out of the bag and placed it on the table beside Sam. He also took out a small toy to keep Sam distracted while he changed him. After Sherlock took Sam's onsie off and began to undo his diaper.

That's when the smell hit him.

Sherlock had smelt some pretty horrid things before (one time he even created a chemical explosion in the sink, and the smell of it had sent John running out of the flat and Sherlock dry retching out the window, the flat stunk for weeks after, and John stayed at his girlfriends until the smell cleared out) but this. This was something different. Sherlock pulled the diaper down the rest of the way and found the large gift that had been left him. The smell sent Sherlock running for the bathroom. There he sprayed air freshener on a t-shirt and wrapped the shirt around his nose and mouth to block out the smell of baby excrement. He returned to the kitchen and poked at the dirty diaper with a fork before closing his eyes shut tight and quickly changing Sam into a clean one. While Sherlock held his eyes shut he accidentally knocked Sam's clothes off the table, landing right into a bowl of acid he'd been using for an experiment.

"Shit!" He yelped and tried to salvage the clothes.

The clothes were too far gone and he wouldn't dare put the acid drenched and burnt clothes on a baby. So he wondered off to his room and found an old shirt of his. He used it to cover up as much of the infant that he could, tying the sleeves around Sam's stomach, then held his hand on his hips as he stood back to inspect the makeshift onsie. Sam starred up at Sherlock with an almost mocking smile and stuck his fist in his mouth and kicked his feet around while he squealed.

"Feeling better are we?" Sherlock huffed and took the infant into his arms.

Sherlock's next problem was what to feed the it. He had absolutely no idea. He doesn't eat himself and when he does it's usually high in caffeine or deep-fried, so he has no idea what to feed a child. Although Sherlock likes spaghetti and John calls him a child so maybe it will like spaghetti. Sherlock really has no clue how to make spaghetti but he's seen John make it one hundred time so thinks he can manage.