not your everyday love story

Chapter two : it could have been the end but it's not...

So that's it, everyone is going home. A week ago we didn't know each other, and here we are, everyone on different planes going to different places all over the world. We are all stupidly crying and sending awful picture of our faces with tears all over them. Here I am, sitting in the plane with his pendant and his mysterious letters. As promised, I waited until I was on the plane to read them. I put some awfully sad music in my ears, like our favorite song All of me by John Legend. I took some tissue near me because I didn't even start reading but I was already crying. A deep breath later, I started reading. I can't control the tears on my cheeks. My mask is so wet. Wow, his letters are so beautiful and so touching. I'm not going to read the entire letter to you because it's kind of long. But I'll show you just the most important parts.

"You know I have always said to my friends : "I know that girl I dream of is there somewhere and I will find her, and I know the day she appears in my life I will know she is the one" Well, I can say that day has come."

or even

"everything was so perfect yesterday : the sea, the moon, the wind (actually we don't like that one), you, the waves, our kisses... it was one of the best moment of my life"

I know what you are going to say. It's beautiful, so cute and you're jealous. I mean yeah I would probably be jealous of my situation too. It feels unreal. Is it reality or am I just dreaming? That kind of story only happens in the movies. A guy that I really really really like wrote me letters so breathtaking, like wow.

2 hours of planes is synonym of 2 hours of tears. I couldn't stop crying. But it was strange because it wasn't only sadness. It was a mix of a lot of feeling, happiness, sadness, choc, doubt, love.

You probably think that Mateo is a really nice guy. But he is way nicer and even more perfect than you think. You don't think it's possible ? Wait and prepare yourself. He took the time to write on the plane a long message in which he talked about every single person of the group and expressed exactly what he feels about everyone. It was so nice. No one asked him to do that, but he did it either way. He's such a kind person. The kind of person who gives, who's really nice to everyone without asking anything in return.

But this is really it, I'm back in France. I have to go back to my normal life, with my friends, my ex boyfriend who cheated on me while I was in Greece. I don't know how I'm going to be able to continue living like this. It was the best week of my life. I met incredible people that I love more than a lot of people in my life right now. And I'm supposed to be happy without them. It feels impossible. I feel so empty.

The next few days have been really hard. School took a lot of energy. I was so tired of everything, no motivation, nothing, just emptiness. The only motivation during these days was texting and calling Mateo, my darling. We called each other almost everyday until two in the morning. It is the only good thing of my days. He is the only person who makes me smile and laugh right now. The only one who really helps me every day.

We could have stopped talking to each other. We thought and talked a lot about it. It was one of the options because yeah we like each other a lot but it doesn't change the fact that we live 1600 kilometers away. And there is a small chance that we won't be able to see each other again for a long time or at all, even if I don't want to accept that. Some of our friends did that because they couldn't keep a relationship with the distance. But just thinking about stopping talking to him hurts me. It wasn't possible. I couldn't do it. So we choose to continue having good time on the phone, even if it's probably going to hurt us later.
And that was the best decision.
I have so many memories with him. We laughed, we cried (i cried), we watched movies together during a facetime.

At this moment my life was a mess. In particular because I was victim of aggression. That night was the worst of my life. I was so scared, I cried way too much. And he helped me a lot. He called me immediately after I told him what happened. He listened to me, and stayed on the phone all night to be sure I'm okay and I don't have any nightmares. It was so hard for me and without him I probably wouldn't have gotten through it.

Whatever, my aggression is not what I was supposed to talk about. Let's go back to my silly Spanish.

Calls after calls, I miss him more and more. He wanted to come to France during Christmas. He tried to talk his parents through it but it didn't work. He can't come. He won't. Of course, when he told me this I cried. You're starting to know me a little bit so you could have guessed it. The thought of not seeing him at all was burning inside of me. It was unbelievable. I couldn't even think about it as one of the options.
So the only solution was talking to my parents and negotiate to go to Seville during Christmas. It won't be easy but it was the only way to see him again.
Days, weeks of negotiation later my parents accepted to let me go to Spain for a week during the holidays. So there we are, two weeks before Christmas, booking the plane tickets.
The last weeks before the holidays were the longest of my life. My only motivation was Spain. I couldn't concentrate. The only thing in my mind was Mateo, Spain.

19th of December, my suitcase is closed. His necklace around my neck, the letters in my bag, I'm ready, ready to fly to Spain.
At that moment, I felt a lot of things. I should have only felt excitement and happiness. I don't know why, but I was stressed. I'm an anxious girl but I shouldn't have been at this moment. It's who I am, I guess an anxious French girl.
5 hours later, I have my bags and here I am walking to the exit. I'm not dreaming, I can see Mateo, he's here. As cute as he used to, even more I would say. I'm with him. He hugged me. I missed that so much. The feeling of his arm around me, his lips on mine, the smell of his perfume are warming my heart.
I'm finally in Spain.

I just took two planes to go to Spain to see a Spanish guy that I met in Greece. What is going on in my life?
He is so sweet. He planned the whole week; he wants to show me a lot of beautiful places...

I can assure you that this week is going to be one of the best of my life.