Maybe This Will Be Different

I Know Your Secret

(Part 5)

Stefan’s POV

“Shut up! Both of you! It doesn’t matter!” I shout at Dru and Ashley. They both look at me, I look down thinking about it all over again. How I got into that gang. It was all good memories until Elliot showed up. I was young when the gang was formed but that didn’t matter because there was no trouble in the gang. Dru was the leader and he looked after me, he was like a brother to me. We would hang out after school at the park, listening to music, talking and laughing, sometimes but for me rarely, playing football.  It was all good, everyone including me was happy. But time goes on, half of the gang left to either go on with school, bored, new friends and stuff like that. So it was kind of just me and Dru. He didn’t see it as a gang anymore but he was still my friend. He was interested in music, playing the drums and making some of his own stuff. I too was interested in music but it was set back when the gang seemed to be getting back together but with new people. A boy called Elliot was moved to our school, he got on okay, no interest in school whatsoever but outside school he already had some friends of his own. Dru was then contacted by one of our old friends about a new gang. He was curious so he went, taking me along with him. We got to this meeting and discovered there was a new gang, Elliot, his friends, our old friends and now us. Dru pulled out and so did I. Elliot was fine with Dru leaving because Dru was older, he wasn’t going to mess with him. But for me pulling out wasn’t okay. I never knew why he wanted me in that gang so bad that he had to blackmail me with my own secrets.

When I was a bit younger, innocent and very vulnerable I was interested in school. I was nearly a nerd in the class but didn’t act like one, I’m just smart.  One day in English I was sat beside Eve, one of the most popular girls in the school and I could see why. Not only was she super hot but she was also smart and not just in the classroom, she knew everyone and everything about every person in the school.  She took notice of me in English, talking and getting to know each other. I found out that she’s a few months younger than me, she’s kind and has an older sister. I was actually starting to like her as in like, like her.. among the many other boys.  But she was different with me, kinder and took notice of me, while with the other boys she was the complete opposite or just a flirt, it’s like she felt comfortable to be herself around me. It wasn’t till a few months later until I asked her out and she agreed! We were everyone’s topic of conversation sure neither of us really minded. Time went on and everything seemed okay but I didn’t feel right. I didn’t care as much about her like that as much, I didn’t take interest in the way she looked or any girl looked really. Yes they were all pretty but it just didn’t bother me. People we’re starting to notice that me and Eve had more space between us, we grew apart over time and I decided to end it.. and that did not go well at all. When I was trying to break it to her I saw her for who she really was, she was stroppy and very loud. After an hour it had slightly calmed, she finally got the message that I wasn’t interested and didn’t  want to string her along or use her. She began to cry letting her makeup run, I walked over to help her but she screamed and hit me then ran.

By the next day the whole school knew the story.

That’s when I was still quiet. But a year or so later Elliot comes along. He’s loud, so he fits in perfectly with all the popular ones.  I started to notice him and Eve were very close, people said they were together but they denied it.

Then that comes back to the gang, blackmail me with my own secrets. Elliot confronted me one day after this meeting wanting me to join his gang but I kept saying no, he then said the words, “I know your secret.” I swallowed the lump in my throat, “w-What s-Secret?” “I know why you broke up with Eve.” “That was a long time ago..” “Yes but I know why!” “w-Why is that?” “Because you’re gay aren’t you, you’re queer, a faggot!” He got me. I knew months after the breakup that I was gay, being no longer interested in girl’s but in guys. “i-I don’t know what y-you mean. I’m s-straight.” He let out a laugh, “Fine, but I know your secret and if you want to play it that way then no one has to know.” “At what price?” “You. Join the gang.”