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TOKYO REVENGERS MANGA SPOILERS!!
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"KEN, who's emma?"
such a simple question was so powerful and destructive, devastating your current relationship with your current "boyfriend".
draken whipped his head towards you as you began walking to the sofa with him, a slight frown on his face. "e-emma?" he asked. something about the way you were asking didn't sit right with him. you weren't asking out of curiosity, your stance told him that you knew something.
he broke eye contact with you, turning away and exhaling erratically. how do you know of that name? it's been a while since anyone had mentioned that name. he hesitated, carefully picking his next words. "she was a girl i used to love."
if there was one thing you liked about draken, it was how straightforward he was. he'd always get to the point, but now you were wishing he wasn't like that. you didn't want to have to face the truth, neither of you did, so you wanted this to drag out for as long as possible.
"used to..?" you asked quietly. draken's eyes found yours again and his emotion contorted in hurt and confusion. "h-huh? what do you mean?" he asked you stupidly. you bit your lip, not sure if draken was playing games with you.
"when you were drunk the other day, you said that you were in love with her."
and drunk words are sober thoughts.
draken's heart sunk at your words, but the look on your face was heart-shattering. you weren't angry, nor sad, but disappointed. your honey-brown eyes glistened, practically begging for him to try and defend himself, to make up some silly excuse so that you could actually get mad at him and walk away, but that never came.
as draken stared at you, he realised how much like emma you looked. it wasn't a conscious decision, he didn't like you because you looked like emma, but his soul was drawn to you because of the uncanny resemblance.
the two of you shared the same lengthed, blonde hair, though yours was dyed, with bangs that perfectly framed your face; you both had large, doe eyes of the same hue that glowed when exposed to sunlight; both had full, pink lips that would curl up into adorable smiles when you were happy. but draken didn't think you knew this.
"ryuuguji..?" he had stayed silent for too long. you watched the life disappear from his eyes as he looked up at you, an apologetic look on his face. "i'm so sorry," he whispered painfully. you breathed out shakily, trying to keep your posture.
"you're still in love with her?"
it's been seven and a half months since emma had passed. six months since he had met you, he's never stopped loving her.
"i'm sorry," he repeated bootlessly.
you gulped, feeling the tears come through. this whole situation was like a jenga tower miliseconds away from crashing down, and every block being removed was another question you asked, knowing how the truth would destroy you soon.
"did you ever love me, ken?" you asked, "tell me the truth." first risky block removed.
"i.." the hesitation said it all. you made a small, choked scoff at the response, not bothering to wipe the salty tear that fell down your cheek. "it's not like i don't like you," draken finally said.
all that time to think of a response, and that's what he said. he was cringing now, beating himself up for such a backhanded answer. your brows furrowed in sadness.
"ryu, you're not being honest. not with me nor yourself. draken, tell me the truth: do you see me as me, or as a replacement for emma?" you questioned. second risky block removed.
that single question had draken's mind cloudy, and for a minute, emma's figure flashed in front of him, quickly switching back to you. "y-you're you, obviously," draken choked out. "you're [name]."
"oh, my hair doesn't remind me of her? nor her eyes?" you asked harshly, holding a large chunk of your hair up. draken looked so helpless in front of you now that the truth had hit him. it hit both of you, and it hurt like a bitch.
might be almost as painful as realising emma was gone, realising he was too late. he didn't make a move, he knew emma reciprocated those feelings and stood stationary. and all of that had come back and bitten him in the ass; the love of his life had quite literally slipped through his fingertips.
draken blamed nobody but himself for their late relationship. he's spent months beating himself up for taking such an angel for granted, for not realising how important she was to him.
"you're not a replacement, but, you're just not-"
"just not emma?" you finished for him. draken stood up, "that is not what i was about to say," draken sighed. "yes, it was, draken. you can't lie to me," you shook your head, voice cracking. "you're not in love with me. you love emma."
if you weren't going to say it, then it wouldn't have been said, you both knew that.
a tear fell from draken's eyes as he stood up to hold your wrist. you couldn't pull your hand away. his large palms were warm, home-like to you. draken noticed this and sniffed, "why aren't you mad at me?" draken had hurt you. he had betrayed your trust. he had lied to you, and somehow, you weren't mad at him, you couldn't be mad at him.
you tried to speak, but instead a few broken sobs escaped from your lips, as you covered your mouth. "i—," you looked up at draken, whose eyes were now red, cheeks stained. "i— i can't get mad at you... for loving someone," you stammered, your words sounding weak.
you raised your hands to cup draken's cheeks, to stare into his teary pools of black, and nothing had changed at all - you were still in love with him. "i can't stay mad at you," you shook your head, pursing your lips. draken sobbed, shaking his head desperately, placing a hand on yours.
"y-you can, [name]. you can get mad at me," draken opposed, even though you were repeatedly shaking your head, "you can. you-you can call me an asshole, a dickhead, anything you want," he offered helplessly, and it made you chuckle and choke on your tears. being like this was as if someone had ripped your heart out and started eating, yet you wanted this. you needed this last moment with draken.
"i love you, ken. i can't get mad at you, because i love you," you confessed, finally letting go of him. draken shook his head, unable to gather words. he knew you loved you, but he had never heard you say it. and it hurt him.
"i—i'm sorry," he exhaled. "i'm sorry. i'm so, sorry," he repeated, pulling you into the warmest hug you had ever experienced in your life. everything felt normal when you were in his wide arms. and as guilty as he felt, having only a view of your blonde hair, he had imagined emma sano in your place.
he cried harder at himself, sniffing, before letting go of you. you didn't look at draken anymore. you just wiped your eyes, sniffing too. draken wished you had been mad at him. a punch, a kick, a slap, an insult, a rant, anything. anything that would give him a reason to never talk to you again.
"i had better go now, then," you announced dejectedly. the smile you gave didn't cover up even a millimetre of your sadness right now, but that didn't stop you from trying.
"thank you, ryuuguji ken, for giving me a chance."
