ALENA'S DIARY

THE INTRO

I now present to you...

"Alena's Diary"  💙

The Intro...

Dear Diary,

So, what is left....What remains inside of me? Now, that every part of me is completely destroyed. I may look well put together on the outside but Oh, how I feel like Broken, shattered glass on the inside.

The UNKNOWN Image...
The unknown image within me doesn't measure up to the public image that I portray to the world. All they've ever witnessed is that beautiful smile that I force upon my face.  But what most don't know is the repellent image that lies within inside of me.
The unknown,
I like to call it.

Acting as if...
Acting as if I'm okay...
Acting as if I'm not on the verge of ending it all...
Acting as if my past is not hindering me  from living in the present moment, and not allowing me to move forward in the future.
But the gag is,

I'm tired of
Acting.

This is real life.
My feelings that I am now expressing into this Diary, are not scripted.
This. is. Real...
Life.

Life changed me...They changed me. 

I was not born like this,
I was moulded into this.

You see, my world came crashing down on me, when
My biological Father left My Mother and I when
I was only 10. It wasn't the fact that he left me. No,
That alone didn't bother me. He payed me no never mind anyways.

I was a 'Momma's girl'...He was always out and about or "working"  majority of the time.
Seeing how my Mother took it, when he left her and I...Now, that alone hurt me to the core.

I hated seeing her cry day and night... I was all she had left. No other family or call upon, because  he turned my mother against her own parents and sisters. I remember I worried about her constantly when ever she'd drop me off at school...a lot of times, I was afraid that one of those days she wouldn't be around to pick me up from school.
She became so...Weak. Fragile...very mentally unstable.

That's when the tables turned. I was now the Mother, and she was the Daughter. From the age of 10 to the age of 13.

Until....

Tryouts...
She tried out this thing we humans call love again, when I was about 13. Diane finally got her groove back and went out fishing for love. Then one day she brought home this mysterious man  and just like that the new man,
Moon walked right into her life...
Moved right into our house...
And eased right between
Our legs.
God, how she swore
up and down,
left and right,
that he was the one, this time.
She thought she hit a home run this time.
"You and I are a team, baby girl."
Is what she use to tell me after my Biological Father left us. Then a year later she let a rapist make the cut on our team.
So much for
"Tryouts"...

Every night...If not every night, it was every other night,  he had his way with me.
When she leaves for work, Or when she's out running errands. Even when she's around and unknowingly, not paying attention, he'd make sneaky passes at me.

Then one day became the last day of my physical torment..
The day she walked in on him. Sad to say, it was nothing she saved me from. He'd already took the most precious thing a woman is suppose to save for the right man. He took that aloooong time ago. I guess better late than never, right Momma?

"LET GO OF ME!" 
is the last thing I remember constantly, pleading and yelling at him the day she caught him.

Then it happened...

He
let
go.
He let go of his semen right inside of me.
Momma burst through the room door and...Well...that's a story for another day.
I swear that'll I'll never see men the same anymore.

His remnants that night remained with me. Wait, no let me rephrase that, his remnants remained INSIDE of me

Two weeks later,  her and I found out I was pregnant. She said we had to get rid of it. So, we did what we had to do...We got rid of it. I couldn't imagine carrying a baby by the man that stole my innocence, and deceived my mother. It felt wrong. What if that child looked just like him?

" If you 'eva tell ya momma, I'll KILL the BOTH of you..."  

He reminded me that daily. But I would've been dammed if I would've allowed that to happen. So, I held my peace.

Three  years.
Three whole years, it took for her to finally get off from work early and catch him molesting her own Daughter. From the age of 13 to 16, I was my mommas, Boyfriend sex slave.

I always wondered if she would have believed me, if I told her first. Or did she just have to see it firsthand?

Oh, how I wanted to tell her oh, so badly. But I wasn't going to risk him killing her and I both. I guess having a father who wasn't really much around most of the time, isn't so bad after all... I would have much rather that than a sick minded step father.

I will confess something into this diary...Not only did he deceive my Mother,
but he deceived me too.

Dear Diary....Promise me, this won't capture anyone's else's eyes, but mines...

Signed - Alena Rae Golden

- 2/6/2020

Author's Note - Guys , this is not the first part to the story , this is only an intro. This story is not based on a true story , but it can happen to people in real life. This book is basically Fan-Fiction. Please make sure to Vote , Share , and comment. The first to this story is coming very soon. <3