Woolworths x Coles x Rampo

An Unexpected Crush

A/N

Me and my cousin are like dying after reading it.

Coles, or Woolworths? Rampo hums as he pulls his car into the lot. The place where he got his snacks had shut down recently and his supply was dwindling. The rumble of the car slows to a stop and the streetlights faintly buzz as he steps out of the car, gravel crunching under his feet. Across from him there were two supermarkets, Coles and Woolworths, stark white lights spilling out onto the asphalt road. Coles seemed to be further away and harder to walk to so he decides to go to Woolworths.

Cold air blasts across his face as he walks through the automatic doors. Aisles upon aisles of snacks awaited him, stacked upon the shelves.

"Checkout Number 3 is available!" An overly enthusiastic voice shouts from the speakers. He kneels by a Meiji chocolate box and peers at the cost.

"90 yen. Huh." He considers the array of candy in front of him.

Meanwhile.

Coles watched Rampo walk away. He had parked closer to Woolworths and had decided to shop there, leaving Coles alone and cold. Sadness and disappointment shoots through its walls and the lights flicker desperately to keep the tears in. Suddenly, an epiphany. If Coles went on 50% sale, then Rampo would come over! He was smart he knew that it would be cheaper and better to shop here! Coles quickly puts a sign in the windows and crosses it's gates (fingers), trembling with anticipation.

Meanwhile.

Customers fly past Rampo and he turns around, confusion written all over his face. Beside Woolworths, Coles was selling everything at 50% off! That meant snacks too! He drops all his items and hurries down the road again, air full off exuberance. As he enters the shop, he admires the architecture, long sweeping walls and bright signs, leading one's eyes to the collection of foods in the centre. Coles, was perfect.

(Time skip bc I'm lazy)

After.

Woolworths glares at Coles. They had stolen Rampo, their hottest customer! Fury courses through its wires (veins) and it sends a truck of mouldy produce to Coles.

"You stole my precious Rampo you disgusting shop!" Woolworths hisses with anger.

"No he was mine all along, plus you're just a green little b-tch. He would never love you!" Coles shrieks.

"Whats with the salty attitude? You're literally a shop version of f-cking Elmo. Gross. "

"Oh you have a problem with me do you?"

"'Do you want to go at it? C'mon do something you coward, you candy cane looking b-ch."

"'I'll do anything I'm serious, I'll do anything you want to do, you Kermit looking ass."

"'do something, seriously do it."

"'I'm up for anything"

"'oh anything- you'll do anything?

"'I'm up for anything. You name it."

"Wanna kiss?"

"Yeah."

Time slows. Seconds seem like hours and the space between them grows infinitely smaller, their breaths sharing the same oxygen, warm air splashing across eachs logos (faces). Woolworths closes their eyes and their trucks (lips) meet. Fireworks light up, exploding across Woolworths vision in dazzling shades of red and white. It's produces (heart) leaps up in it's storage room (chest) as their foundations grow weaker. They could only focus on how soft they felt against her truck (mouth). Their red and white eyes were invading their sensors- overwhelming. Every breath they took smelt of produce and truck gas and for the first time since Woolies met Coles, they didn't feel shy or jealous. If anything, the warm feeling of their trucks against their's, although dizzying was inviting. They felt broad aisles (arms) come into contact with the walls (sides of their shoulders) and they pushed back against the road. Their kiss were like the summer rain washing over their senses, drowning them in a melting world of giddiness and delight.

Just like summer rain, as quickly as they had come, they had gone.

"'WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Rampo bursts onto the street, apprehension tight on his face. Woolies and Coles spring apart, shock, guilt and frustration sinking in their basement (stomach). The street grows quiet. The only sound interrupting the heavy silence was an occasional breath from the panting Rampo.

"'We-uh-" Coles mutters, sweat sliding down their gutter.

"'I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT." He yells. "ULTRA DEDUCTION!" Light bursts from his glasses and surrounds him, an invisible force making his coat flutter in the nonexistent wind.

"'I know what you did."

Rampo blinks, and feels a hot warmth prick behind his eyes. The glow of red, green, and white swim in a haze of mist as he starts to cry.

"hey-hey don't cry..." Woolies murmurs-

"Shut up you elf on the shelf stocking b-tch!" The words fall out of his mouth before he could even consider them and he wipes at his eyes angrily.

"LOOK, you're a human, and we are shops. THIS WAS NEVER GOING TO WORK..."

They were shouting now, but the words seemed so small and weightless, he could hardly focus on them above the the roaring in his ears. Roaring at the unfairness- at the injustice of it all.

"We don't think we should be together..." Their words fade in and out and the street seemed too small, the street lamps and road shrinking, the coat too tight- the air too stuffy- his feet where stuck in his shoes and he couldn't stop trembling- couldn't breathe-

"We'd be immortal and stuck with you-" Their words hit him like a slap to the face and reality sinks in. How could they be so calm when his world was tearing apart at the seams?!

"YOU-YOU'D BE STUCK WITH ME???" He steps up to look at them in their logos (face). "I ACTUALLY THOUGHT WE WERE MEANT TO BE."

"Rampo." Coles whispers.

His voice falls short as they speak. He didn't know how but he still loved them- even after they tried to dump him, he still loved them. Everything about them. Their prices- their aisles- their checkout counters- down to the tiles on their roof.

"I love you." He utters, tears now streaming down his face. "Even if it's just for a few measly mortal years. I love you and I hope that is enough because I love you too Woolworths. Down to your produce- your staff- even your trucks. Coles- you too. Can't we share a few years together before I die?"

The air grows stagnant again as Coles and Woolworths considers his words.

"I think..." Woolworths breathes.

Rampo's heart jumps into his throat as he scans their logos (faces).

"I think you're right because we love you too. Even if it's just a few years we will make the most of it."

He pulls both into a crushing hug.

"Will you let me buy your snacks for free?"

"Yeah"

"Okay."

THE END HAPPY EVER AFTER

A/N

This is caesia (ErensMissingArm_AOT) speaking, you can follow me on TikTok @caesiaaaaa :D I do art shit I don't rly write on it like this but I might so yeah

 (Caesia/erensmissingarm_aot) What am I doing with my life