Drowning: A Reign Fanfiction

Chapter 1

"Your Majesty." The servants in Francis' and I's chambers bowed.

The bedroom was ostentatious. A bed, embroidered with gold thread was the centerpiece, and the furniture surrounding it were the perfect accents to a room fit for the King and Queen of France.

    I stuck my chest out and put on the most impassive expression I could muster.

    "Get my prior chambers ready, will you?" I asked, even though an order from a queen was never truly a request.

    "Of course, Your Majesty," they said in unison, bowing, before leaving the room.

    For the first time since I killed Severin and his accomplices, I was alone. There were guards stationed outside the chambers, but they wouldn't dare bother me unless asked. And with the state of Francis and I, I doubted he would ask—at least for the moment.

    A knock startled me from my thoughts, and I watched as the door widened for Kenna. Unashamed, she hurried to my side with wide, concerned eyes.

    "Are you alright? Bash told me you and Francis—"

    "Are having differences?" A forced smile pulled at my lips. "It's hardly uncommon for a King and Queen."

    Kenna stared at me carefully, clearly taken aback by my statement. "But you and Francis are more than a King and Queen: you're husband and wife. You love each other, Mary."

    Water welled up in my eyes at her words. "And sometimes love isn't enough."

    "Oh, Mary," Kenna comforted as she reached for me.

Instinctively, I flinched away, cowering from her touch as if it was an open flame.

"Mary, I'm so sorry—"

"It's fine," I said in a raspy voice. "I'm fine."   

"No you aren't," she said thoughtfully. "It's been days . . . Have you let anyone touch you?"

"Why would I?" I argued. "It's not as though contact is an obligation. Not even for Francis and I."

"But you love him and want to touch him?" She said it as a statement, not a question.

"I have never questioned my love for Francis. That's not what this is about," I said with force.

"According to Bash, Francis seems to think otherwise."

"That is a lie." I shook my head in disbelief. "I have never doubted how much I love Francis. Not for a second—even after the things he has done."

"I know, Mary. But that doesn't mean that Francis doesn't doubt it."

My eyes narrowed at Kenna.

"My faith in him or my love? Because at the moment, those are separate things."

"Both, Mary," Kenna said quietly. "Francis may know you love him, but there is vast difference between knowing and feeling. A person needs both."

My body stilled, and I turned my back on Kenna with a dangerous expression.

"Is there an implication I am missing here, my lady?" I emphasized her status like a distasteful curse.

"Mary, please," she begged. "I'm just worried for you. We all are." I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at the wall in front of me. "If you won't speak to me, at least speak with Greer or Bash."

"I am content as I am," I said harshly, turning toward Kenna.

"I can't pretend to understand what you endured that night." Tears welled in my eyes and pain ripped through my chest like a dagger piercing through my heart. "But pushing people away may cause more harm than good. Surely you can see that?"

"What I see," I choked out, despite the tears, "is that your queen has requested to be alone, and you have ignored those orders. You are dismissed, Kenna."

"Mary—"

"I said, 'Get out!'" I screamed. My body shook with a mixture of anger and sobs as I jabbed my finger towards the door.

"Mary," Kenna desperately whispered, as she bowed her head in defeat and began walking towards the door.

Before she left, I commanded without emotion,"Tell my guards nobody is to enter these chambers unless I give an order otherwise. Not even servants."

"But Mary—" she argued with a startled voice.

"I am your Queen and you will treat me as such!" I shouted. "Nobody except for me is allowed to enter these chambers! That is an order, am I clear?!" I stared at her with a newfound coldness that was so easily drawn from my pain. Who was I now? Have my experiences finally become me?

"Yes, Your Majesty," Kenna dreadfully mumbled while she bowed.

Without another word, Kenna left my chambers, and I heard her repeat my orders to the guards outside the door. Satisfied that I could finally be alone, for I wanted no witnesses of what was to come next, I walked over to the right side of our bed and stared at the floor.

I remembered the fear that struck my heart when I looked into Severin's eyes, and I knew exactly what he was going to do, what they were going to help him do. Their hands were callused and hard, cold, unlike Francis' whose hands were always soft, warm, and above all else, gentle.

I remembered their heavy bodies pinning me down, against my will, as I kicked and I screamed and I fought, but it was no use. I was helpless as they clamped their hands over my mouth and slammed my head against the floor. I was degraded as Severin held me down and stole away the one thing that was private and precious to myself and my husband besides our love.

Now shaking with uncontrollable sobs, tears that wouldn't stop running down my pale and drawn face, I threw myself onto the bed and grabbed Francis' pillows. I tightly wrapped my arms around the soft fabric, inhaling its scent as a source of safety and comfort as I cried. I cried for my regrets, I cried because of my pain, I cried for Francis, and I cried because I was finally broken.