Thatveganteacher X Reader

~Obama ate my poop sock~

Oh no, what have I done? Jorobe is dead. Eh, it's whatever. As long as I can hide is body and get rid of my blood stained clothes. Then i'll be alright. I don't think there's anywhere to hide the body, so i'll have to leave it. I wish I could sleep, but I'm going to be up all night. I've just killed someone, I don't think i'll sleep for days.

But why should it matter? It doesn't affect me. I'm still alive. He's the one that's dead.  Haha, and it's all for Y/N anyway. Once I prove myself to them, i'll have everything i've ever wanted.

I run through the jagged grass til i'm out of breath. My blood stained prison uniform makes me sweat. It's incredibly tight, but the pants cuff at the ankles. The scratches are bright red, and very irritated. The day has exhausted me. If I don't find somewhere to rest soon i'll pass out and wake up with my whole body covered in itchy red marks.

It took me a while, but soon I discover another flattened patch of grass. It's only a small patch, but it surrounds a small pond, filled with reeds and old plastic bottles. It smells horrible, maybe I wasn't the first to kill someone here. But I shouldn't complain, it's not as good as the hard prison mattresses, but I was the one who chose to escape.

I feel my old frail vegan bones crack as I lay down, this is so sad.

8:34AM

"I uhhhh, ma'am? Ma'am?"

I feel a cold bony finger tap my shoulder.

"Huh?"

"Uhhhh ma'am? Ithinkyoumayof uhhhhhhh injuredyourself?"

?????????????
Who is this? And why does he talk so slowly and all of a sudden so quick?

I roll over, the sun glints in my eyes so the man is nothing but a mere silhouette. 

"Auuuuh would you uhhh, wouldyoulikesomehelp?"

"Can you talk fucking normally for like JUST a SECOND?"

I struggle to lift myself up, and rub my eyes. I squint at the man before realising

holy shit!!!!!!!! it's obama!!!!!!!! holy fuck!!!!!! obmam???????????

"OHBAMAh??" I cry "What're YOU doing here in the middle of this lonely-ass field?!"

"Uhhh well you see lady, uhhhhh iamnotsure. Uhhhhh but I like to uhhhhhhhh checkupon thiiis uhh field! Because it is uhhhh verynice aaaand veryspecial to me. Uhhhhhhhhh what about uh you?"

"Oh uh! Well I just got a little lost."

"Would you uhh, would you like me to take you home?"

"Oh no no of course not! I can manage myself! Totally!"

"Oh well uhhhh would you like me to uh tend to your uh injuries?"

"Nope! I am fine."

"Great great, say uhhh, are youuuu misskadiekarenveganteacher?"

"Well yes uhh, why?"

"Oh my god! Are you not meant to be in uhh prison?"

"Well yeah I thought you'd notice my uniform, I uh escaped."

"Oh! That sure is uh, wow."

"Yeah, haha."

"I could uhh take you to my house, if you'd like! I'm sure Michelle would uhhhh understand."

And everything took off from there, Obama walked me to his car and drove me to his house. I kept my head down in the back seat, just so nobody would notice. 

It was a short journey, but it felt like forever. I dont know how I made it, but I. did. All of a sudden, as soon as we arrive at the house, Obama grabs me by my legs and drags me out the car and gets on all 4s. 

"OBAMA WHAR ARE YOU DOING!!!!!!!!" i cry, i shit my pants and its really spiky and it really hurts. 

obama begins jumping up and down on all fours and barking, i cry "OBAMA!!!! CALM DOWN THIS ISNT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!" suddenly michelle BURSTS through the door 

"OH MY GOD ARE YOU MISS KADIE KAREN VEGAN TEACHER?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" 

"Yes I am, why?"

MICHELLE DIES ON THE SPOT

OH NO MICHEELLE

obama suddenly begins doing full rotations without moving his limbs, i kneel down and yell "OBAMA!!!!! STOP!!!!! YOU JUST KILLED YOUR WIFE!!!! BAD OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he begins faritng and shitting all over the floor and he starts turning really fast and i get really scared and i shit my pants again but i do a really big poo and it rips my jeans

"OH NO MY VEGAN JEANS MADE WITH REAL VEGETABLES ARE BROKEN WHAT WILL I DO" 

all of a sudden, i have an idea. i pull a sock off of my foot, and i stick my hand down my pants and feel a rock hard spiky shit. i stuff my sock with the poop and tie the end off and i get on top of the car then jump off the roof and hit obama in the head mid air. obama passes out and falls on his back like a dead fly. im exhausted, all that fighting made me really weak, my fragile vegan bones cant stand any more fights. 

but before i knew it, obama was back on his feet. he stretched his leg out and it crunched loudly, he cricks his neck and straightens his back before pouncing at me. i move quickly and get on top of the car, i grab the poop sock and threaten him with it like it were a baton. obama looks me dead in the eye before pOUNCINH at the poop sock and EATING IT WHOLE. 

"OBAMA?!?!?!?!? DID YOU JSUT EAT MY POOP SOCK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" 

all of a sudden, obama stands up straight. 

"i just had...the best erection of my life." 

i look at him, confused "thats your fucking erection?" 

" no, when i ate that sock. i just creamed so hard it went up my asshole. karen, can you shit in my mouth?"

i resist the urge to gag, i feel the burning vomit endure in the back of my throat. but with a sneaky plan, i reply

" sure." 

obama holds my hand and helps me down from the car, and we walk into his house. we walk into the kitchen and all of a sudden obama tears his belt in half with his bare hands and his pants drop, revealing his 2 inch wide and 2 inch long meaty schlong. it was almost a square. 

" you want me to dominate you with this big poopy?"  i whisper in obamas ear. 

" you bet i do."  he lies down on his back

" well lucky for you, im a big fan of knife play."  i say, i open the kitchen drawers and pull out a large cleaver. i kneel above him, before dropping the cleaver on his dick and slicing it in half. 

" um muhmhm umm mWUAHAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAHH AHHHHHGHGHHSHAH HAHHHH"  obama wails in pain

i slice his throat and steal his keys,

im back on the run.