Alone. A word I have come to terms with. Many a night I have spent in my corner of the world. A word I have mastered but have yet to fully understand. How can one who has always been alone know the true meaning of the word when he has no recollection of the contrary? Everyday here is the same. Lock the doors, eat when needed, drink when needed, rid myself of waste when needed. And all time in between is spent thinking of that word. Alone. Thinking and writing on the wall. The room has a small stash of coal which I use to draw on the walls. My latest work is of a stick boy, alone. Sometimes at night when I lock the door I can hear them trying to get in. It is unnerving. They are there but I am still alone. My thoughts feel scattered, uneven, random. I do not remember why I am here or how long I have been here. I do not know what claws at my door at night, I feel I used to know but that knowledge seems to have been stolen and locked away from me. As I lay my head down this night I recall the word once more, alone, as the clawing at my door lulls me to sleep.
I awake to this day with an air of normality about myself. I get up to go get a can of food from the box for I am famished, but I find none. The clawing at my door has stopped. I open it a crack very slowly for I do not remember the last time I have opened the old rusting door. As I looked through the small opening I see the door leads to a long hallway full of discarded wheelchairs and flashing LED lights. I open it further to check for dangers, but finding none I gingerly step out and walk slowly down the dimly lit hallway. I wince as my bare foot slices on a shard of glass. The blood comes quickly and unforgivingly like an angry stream. I look around frantically and find a dirty bandage roll next to an overturned gurney. I wrap it tightly and bite my lip from the pain. I continue down and enter a restroom to my right. I open the door slowly and peek through, seeing nothing I slip into the pitch dark room and close the door behind me. I fumble for the lightswitch and as the light goes on I stumble backwards and fall as I realize there is a body lying in the center of the room. It is the body of a young girl, she wears a green hoodie with torn jeans, she has brown hair and pale skin, she couldn’t be more than ten. I crawl over to the body and kneel over her. I check her pockets and find a picture of her and an older boy smiling, he has brown hair as well with a large crooked smile. He is much taller than her and holds her protectively. I take the picture and close the girls still open green eyes. I stand slowly and walk over to a mirror. All the time I have spent in that room has caused me to forget what I looked like. I touch the mirror as I see myself. Long unkempt brown hair, I am pale with a small stubble. I have deep green eyes, and thats when it hits me. Slowly at first, foggy images fill my brain. Me and that girl, Playing, fighting, a time when I was not alone, but in the images I wore a green hood as well, now as I look at myself I am in a blue medical gown. For a moment I am elated, than griefed by the obvious death of someone close to me, than crushed by the fact that I cannot remember why she was close to me. I look at her frail figure lying there once more and see she has a necklace on. It is a rope chain with a rusted teardrop hanging off of it. I take the necklace and put it on, I also see she has a small bag next to her. I open the bag to find a letter and a pocketknife, I wield the knife in one hand and keep the letter in the bag as I put it on. My time in this hole has expired, I must leave. I put the picture of me and the girl in the bag and look for any other clues about the girl. All I find is a note in her pocket that is addressed to Emma, the rest of the note is smeared in blood. I now see she has five vertical slices down her torso under her hoodie, suggesting it was put on after her death. I give this little thought as I move to the door and say a silent prayer and goodbye for the once loved Emma, I then open the door and move on to leave this prison I have inhabited for so very long, and begin my journey to search for my forgotten past.
