Paper Cranes

Part 6

The kids know. They know when adults are lying to them. They are smarter than society thinks. The youngest ones cling to Chaeyoung, tears wetting her shirt as the dams break. The older ones cry too even though they attempt to hold it in.

Chaeyoung holds her arms out wider, motioning for everyone to come closer. She tries to hug them all, whispering softly.

“Sleepy Noona left with a smile.”

It wasn’t a lie and it seemed to be the only thing she could think of saying.

That simple truth was at least a tiny bit comforting to her.

She had left when she was ready.

But she had left when Chaeyoung wasn’t ready.

-/-/-/-

Spreadsheets remain stagnant as Chaeyoung stares at the light from the computer with dead eyes. The numbers and data just stare right back as the other girl doesn’t move at all.

A styrofoam cup appears in her eye sight. She looks up, eyes trailing that long arm back to its owner.

“Lisa.”

“Are you okay?”

Frustration wells up in her chest as her temper rises. What kind of question was that? Of course she wasn’t okay. Her hands ball up into fists as she feels her body going numb with anger.

But her memory calms her down.

There was no reason to get mad at Lisa for asking the question. Chaeyoung had asked her to do so when the time came.

Letting out a deep sigh, Chaeyoung takes the cup and sets it on the desk.

“No, Lisa. I am not okay.”

Lisa gives her a comforting hand on the shoulder.

“Take some time off.”

She couldn’t have given better advice.

-/-/-/-

The silence of an empty apartment greets Chaeyoung as she takes off her shoes, door shutting behind her. She tilts her head to the side, hand massaging her neck as the keys are tossed onto the kitchen table. Making her way to the nearly empty fridge, leftovers are heated up from a take-out box.

She stands in front of the microwave, eyes watching the red numbers tick by.

Dinner for one, again.

Back to one.

-/-/-/-

It wasn’t fair. It was too cruel for God or fate (or whatever is out there) to put Jisoo in her life and then rip her viciously out before anything could really be developed.

There were too many things left unsaid. Words like ‘I love you’ or ‘I’m glad to have met you.’ There were too many things left unanswered. She didn’t even know what illness it was that had taken Jisoo away from her. She didn’t even know about Jisoo’s family or friends or what life was like before the illness.

At this point now, she felt like she hardly knew Jisoo because it was Jisoo who chose not to reveal those details about her life.

It was Jisoo who was trying to protect Chaeyoung from herself. It was Jisoo who wanted Chaeyoung by her side, but to not get too entangled because she knew she was leaving for good. It was Jisoo who had been selfish to Chaeyoung.

It was Chaeyoung who still fell for such a girl. It was Chaeyoung who still chose to stay by her side, digging that hole deeper together.

And it was Chaeyoung who is left in the aftermath with anger and frustration and desperation as she loved the older girl.