I Hobbit

You. Just. Broke. My. Heart

"Screw you Damien. And fuck you little slut too!" I yelled as I stormed away from my EX-boyfriends house. He stood in the front yard, only wearing boxers and an old grey shirt.

"Oh come on Ash, its not like you were going to do it with me. Wasn't it you who said that everyone deserves a mistake or two?" He yelled at my retreating form.

I spun around, try hard not to let anymore burning tears fall from my eyes

"Yeah, well you made one too many" I yelled back, spinning around and walking away as fast as I could.

"Ash, come on, cone back!" He yelled, not even bothering to move after me. I looked back one more time and saw her at the tattered metal mesh front door of his house looking out at me. I stopped, taking in the one place that I had called home for a long time. I took in the old white wood board house, the old square windows with flower pots I kept murdering poor flowers in, the over grown garden we both kept promising to mow and Damien, the guy I had just started to admit I loved after 2 years. His red hair and blue eyes, his freckled slightly tan skin, he soft mouth that once spoke only loving words; I hated him.

I had found him in bed with another girl, it was the first time, but it was enough. I promised to keep myself for marriage, and he said he didn't mind. Ha! No, he just 'lost control' so he said. I looked at him, tears in his eyes, his hands open by his sides as in surrender, but I couldn't forgive him. I wanted to, more than life itself, but i wouldn't be one of those girls, i would stay strong. The next moment seemed to last a life time, as I looked at everything, the sun beaming down, making the pavements shine, the birds and butterflies, the wild daisys growing everywhere, the old green sign with the word 'Orchards ends'.

Then, with one last gut wrenching sob, I gasped out "Don't try to find me, just leave me alone. We are over. Maybe oneday... But, just not know, don't hold up".

I then turned around and walked away, whispering a last goodbye to the only thing I had ever wanted for a while now. Letting the sun burn my skin, the pavement trip me up, and the houses stare at me. And I never once looked back.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wish I had a car, taking the bus while sobbing my heart out was not fun. Everyone looked on, unseeing, as if the didn't mention it, it wasn't real. I was always the outsider here. Ii was from Australia, but when I was younger I saved enough money to see the world. I was only meant to stay in America a few weeks, but the I met Daniel and everything changed.

I was still going to see the world, but I was staying here to earn a bit more money so we could go together. I had planed it out, we would see the world, then come back home, get married, he would be a engineer and I would be a primary school teacher, it would be the dream. Not any more.

I still had the money, lots of it, but at the minute I wanted to curl up and die, not see the world. Hot tears still streamed down my cheeks. My dream seemed to fade away into nothing right before my eyes. I know I should forgive him, its one mistake, but I just felt so betrayed, and more so, I felt through all the sadness that there was something more for me. I had to give up a lot of my dreams to creat one with him. I wanted to be famous, to be rich. With him that kind of seemed less important, not anymore.

I didn't really know where I was riding the bus, to a hotel, all my things are in storage downtown. I had everything packed up there, ready to leave with him. I haven't felt this lost for a long time. Part of me wants to go back home to the folks for a while so I can have time to get through this, but I don't want them to see me like this. I was an only child in a very large family, uncles, aunties, cusins, gradparents, all there, I was just one of the many. My parents loved me, but they were ready for me to leave when I did. They had me young, and have only know just started living there lives, holidays, travel, parties, the lot. I loved my family, bit we weren't that close. Sure they accepted me and such, and i could tell them things, but we didn't talk much, and though they loved me, they had a lot of people they had to spread love to.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I rode the bus until dark, I wanted to get as far away as possible. I had just come back from being out, so i had a handbag with all my stuff in it. I finally got out and walked around till I found a motel to stay. It was dark, and i never much liked the dark. I walked in, feeling all the knowing eyes on me. I payed and was lead to my room. I felt numb. This normally happens to me. When I was young I lived the perfect life, but I never had much time for people.

As a kid i was socially awkward, so i stayed away from people, then I grew older and got a got every job I could to earn money to travel. I did my schoolwork at lunch in the library, and I didn't need friends. Everyone was nice to me, and I could have a conversation, I just didnt. I know it seems weird, and I had a lot of teachers ask me how I was, but the truth was, I was fine.

Ive always felt things deeply, but the feeling fade fast as well. Already I didn't feel the pain I felt moments ago. And although I wanted to, I couldn't cry. I hated myself for it. I wanted to fall apart, to scream, to shout, but i couldnt, i just felt numb.

I locked the door behind me, it was late, but I wasn't hungry, I just wanted to sleep. I took off my jeans and threw them in the corner, i did the same with my faded green converse shoes, white anklet socks and bra, i was only left in my green/grey 'da man' shirt with black short sleeves and my pink undies. I walked into the bathroom, and turned on the tap to drink from it with my hands, I wanted to go home.

I turned the tap of after i quickly splashed my face, i never bothered to wait for the water to turn warm. I them whiped my face with the soft white towel on a rack, I wouldn't have a shower tonight, i just couldn't. I then turned to look at the mirror. My hair was like it always was, chocolate brown, slightly wavy and up to the middle of my back. It was always perfect, no matter what I did, and always soft, so much so that I brushed for hours a day. My eyes, are hazel, my lips are small and pink. My skin is tanned golden, and my eyebrows plucked to perfection. My skin is smoother than silk, and even though I was crying, only turned a little pink at the cheeks.Whats the point?

I wasn't like this before, i used to be just average. Slightly under infact. I was chubby, my hair to my hips, split ended and dry. My eyebrows were uneaven, so was my tan. Even my skin was full of blotches, before. Then I met Daniel. He didn't care what I looked like. But I did. I wanted to be as beautiful as he was, so I went on a deit, excersised, did every beauty routine I could think of, and i was beautiful.

My eyes filled with tears again, but they didn't fall. So I went to the toilet, walked back to my and threw myself under the covers, but even then I felt wrong. I have always been quite warm blooded, i loved the heat like a cat, the first time it snowed I refused to leave the house for a month. I cried at the memory. The hot chocolates, the popcorn and movies. Daniel bring in a snowball and throwing it at me. Me not talking to him for a week but still sleeping in the same bed and making him coffee in the morning. The happiness, gone. And in that moment, I didn't care he cheated, I wanted to run back, to work things out. I knew he must be sad, and it killed me to cause him pain, but my pride wouldn't allow me, and I hated myself for it.

Without him there was no extra body heat, no one to curl up to, no one to wish goodnight. But I did fall asleep, if only in to much pain to stay awake. Little did I know, when I woke up, my life would be changed.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This book is just a side book I'm writing, so slow updates. If i get a lot of likes, i may consider writing this faster, but as for now, it will be around a week or two between each chapter.