Welcome! To preface this, it's a story from Harry's perspective, and everything in italic is a journal entry. Any date that is bolded is the date in which his mind was currently in. So if it's in a year prior to 2018, he's reliving a memory if that makes sense. Hopefully it isn't too confusing. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy!
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Never in a million years did Harry think things would end up like this. Ever.
What had happened? What went wrong? All the hope he had in humanity was drained from his body, everything just gone. He felt like a lifeless body drifting around without a soul, without a purpose. His hand shook as he picked up a pen off the wooden desk that no longer belonged to him, or it wouldn't soon anyways.
September 18th, 2018 (current)
Dear diary,
"Oh fuck no." Harry scribbled it out. "I am not that cliche."
To whomever it may concern,
I hate myself. That's not new though. I screwed everything up, for real this time. Is it even my fault? I don't know. Mum says not to blame myself, but who else is there to blame?
Anyways. I think I need to let it out. Everything, from how it started to how it ended. The therapist said it might help with the "coping", to hell with that though. This isn't coping, it's fucking experiencing and dying inside. Am I living? Or just existing? Because these days I feel trapped inside this tall lanky body with nothing to offer the world. And what good am I to corporate America if I have nothing to offer?
Okay, fuck it, here goes:
December 24th, 2000: Louis' born.
February 1st, 2001: I am born. 'Mum's little angel' as she likes to say.
Well, I guess before that Mum and Jay were best friends, but things relating to me start after my birth. That makes sense Harry, you dumb wanker. I don't really have any real memories of Lou before I was about five or six, and I think that was because the first vacation didn't happen until 2006. Edgewater, oh the glory. A row of lakefront cabins in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of other people we didn't know, sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. Maybe it was quite the luxury to a middle aged woman though. Who's idea was this? Maybe I can find someone to blame.
So, 2008: First lake trip, don't remember much other than spending all the summer on the water. There was always so many people there too, I never understood why mom chose to do it each year. Louis and I were basically brothers. We went to the same middle school in town, best friends and inseparable basically since I was born. "Friends" is the wrong word I guess, considering how things turned out.
"Harry, come on hun. It's time to go." Harry looked up from the journal to see Anne standing in the doorway, her black dress dragging the floor and a dead look in her eyes.
"I'll be there in a minute." He offered a smile, expecting her to leave the room. Instead, he followed her gaze out the window to where the sun was just starting to make it's descent. It brought him back to all those late nights, and all the memories that were long forgotten.
June 14th, 2013
"It's too late boys, no more." Jay snatched the bag of marshmallows from Louis' hands.
"Mom! That's not fair, I only had four!" Louis whined, trying to chase the bag. "Only four, Louis? God, that's enough to send you into a sugar rush for a year!" Jay squealed and holding the edge of her sundress, ran towards the lakehouse with Louis close on her tail. Harry sat at the fire with a smile playing on his lips, watching them get smaller and smaller. He turned his attention to the sun, so close to the horizon line, bathing the lake in a fiery orange that had become imprinted in his brain at that point. He rubbed his hands together, a chill running through his body.
"Are you cold?" Harry turned around to see Louis standing next to him with wide eyes.
"A little, but 'm okay." Harry reassured, but Louis just shrugged off his coat. "Here, I'm overheating from chasing mum around anyways."
"Thanks." Harry's cheeks heated a bit, but he accepted the coat, already warm from Louis' body heat.
"Mum said we could stay out here longer if we wanted, as long as we be sure and put out the fire." Louis said, sitting on a log next to Harry. "Your mum had already gone to bed, I still don't think she was feeling too well." Harry thought about the seafood they had gotten from a fisherman's market, and how it hadn't been cooked properly. Poor mum. "Was she alright?" Harry asked.
"Yeah, I think so. Mum said we'd just see her in the morning." Louis poked the fire with a stick, and Harry pulled the coat around his shoulders tighter. "You're quiet." Louis noted after a few moments of silence.
"Just thinking." Harry's brain spun, and he tilted his chin to the sky where stars were beginning to make an appearance.
"About what?" Louis looked up too, and Harry sprung off the log, dragging his beach towel with him. He laid it neatly in the sand and sprawled out on it, eyes to the galaxies. "About everything. The stars, the moon, outer space. I wanna go someday."
"You wanna be an astronaut?" Louis asked, also pulling his towel over and laying beside Harry.
"No, I wanna be a star." Harry sighed, "Do you think they talk to each other? Do you think they know how beautiful they are, and does that go their heads?"
"I think maybe they do. I bet they have the most interesting conversations." Louis flipped over on his stomach. "Can I be a star too?"
"I'd like that a lot."
YOU ARE READING
currents//larry stylinson
Fanfiction"I mind how we lay in June, such a transparent summer morning." This one's for the tame impala/poetry/summer/moon/larry cores that I know are out there!
