Alone

Chapter 2

The junk from inside that awful apartment bangs against the steel drums as I force Vincent's rubbish inside .
I left Lorains clothing , not knowing which were hers or which were bought by Vincent .

My hands grip the gas as the disgusting smell burns my nose  , my hands shaking as I pour out the liquid into the bins . Without a second thought I strike a match and toss it in one of the bins . The bin explodes into flames as the hot element eats away the old paintings inside .

The fire warms my body , keeping the cold of winter away from me .

I remember when Lorain and I sat in front if the fireplace the first night at the cottage . She was magical. 

6 Months ago

"Fucking cold weather ruins everything ."I hiss as the hot water pours out the kettle in a misty cloud.  Lorain smiles at the now full coffee mugs and sets the kettle down.

"I dont think so. I love the cold ."she shrugs and makes her way over to me on the sofa where I'm covered in blankets . She hands me my mug and sips from her own as she leans into the sofa with a sigh ." The cold brings a sort of comfort -- familiarity even. "

My eyes are glued to her face as I analyze her expression.  Her eyes hold a sorrow only the ones close to Vincent can understand . When you've fallen for such a demonic angel , you cant help but see him in everything you see or do .

"You're thinking of Vincent arent you?"I ask with a sigh before leaning forward and setting my mug on the coffee table. 

"Yeah."she laughs bitterly and begins pecking at the scars on her arms.
"Its funny. I hate the man so much for everything he's done to me yet I still miss the way he'd hold me at night when I'd get scared or cold. I miss the way he'd hold my face in his huge hands -"she laughs and sets her mug down next to mine before crawling under the blanket with me "-when he'd get possessive over me and show me how much he cares for me. He would always hold my hand or any part of me in public because he liked showing people I was his."

My eyebrows knit together into a frown at her words. I stare in disbelief at the stupid girl next to me. "Are you mentally ill?"I snap and pull away from her . Her eyes widen as she stares at me in shock and insecurity.

"Its not normal for someone to be so controlling . You arent something that should belong to anyone.  You arent a toy , you're a woman with her own life . You're insane if you think not having a life and constantly being by a man's side is amazing . Even worse if you think him hurting you is a sign of love ."I spit out in frustration and pull my blanket off of her.

I dont share with the brain-dead.

Lorain grows angrier by the minute as her eyes shoot red hot daggers at me.
"This comes from you - the one who's still madly in love with him and wont get over that he doesn't care enough about you to even touch you ."she yells .

Her words pierce my heart like an arrow lit by the flames of hell .

She's right . Who am I to criticize when I still love my husband. 

"Touche concubine.  Touche. "I frown and stare at the woven material around my lap .

We both sit in silence , not knowing what to say . We both know that we are crazy for loving Vincent. We also know that Vincent , although fake, can show the greatest love to his partner . He has the skill of weaving someone around his finger .

We came here to escape him. We came here to heal from what had been inflicted upon us . Yet here we are , not even able to talk about or be honest about our feelings . Maybe I was a little too harsh .