My Angel

CHAPTER 19: HE'S NO DIFFERENT

Alya's pov ~

       The sunlight shone on my face and I
squeezed my eyes tightly against the glare.
Turning around, I winced at the soreness in my back and felt my forehead crease in confusion.

Why did my soft, cuddly bed feel so hard?
Grogily,I blinked my eyes open and came
face to face with the bottom of the couch in my bedroom.

I rubbed my eyes in an effort to get rid of
the sleepiness. A lazy yawn escaped from my mouth and I groaned, falling back on the floor again as I crossed my arms over my chest.

Turning my head to the side, I saw Alessio's jacket lying next to my face. I frowned in confusion and slowly brought my hand to the jacket, running my fingers softly over the fabric.

"Hmm,"I hummed as I tried to think back
to last night, feeling strangely disoriented.

Why am I sleeping with his suit jacket?

As soon as the thought ran through my
mind, I quickly sat up, dizziness rushing
through me. My harsh breathing filled the room and last night flashed before my eyes.

I was worn out, tired of constantly thinking about the past. Tired of fighting my demons.

Feeling numb, I brought his jacket to my
chest, holding it there as I closed my eyes.I hated my nightmares.

When I escaped, the first few nights were horrible. I could barely get any sleep. But then for two nights, I didn't have any nightmares.
I felt hopeful.

Last night, all that hope came crashing
down around me. I was so naive to think that could escape such a horrendous reality.

Shaking my head at my own stupidity, I stood up and stumbled toward my bathroom.

I didn't even look at myself in the mirror.
Instead, I walked straight to the shower and let the warm water cascade over me.

The warmth began to seep under my skin and my muscles relaxed. I stayed under the shower longer than usual, trying to gather myself again.

Closing the water, I stood still for a
moment and closed my eyes. Stay strong. Don't break. Dont show weakness.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes
again and stepped out of the shower.
Stay strong. Don't break. Don't show
weakness.

Quickly drying myself, I dressed in the
same clothes I had been wearing for weeks now. My black maid dress.

When I was finished, I glanced in the
mirror, looking at my reflection in silence.

My eyes were red and puffy. Tiredness was clearly written all over my face. It didn't come as a shock to me. The face in the reflection.!

I had seen it a million times. Looking exactly like that.
Stay strong. Don't break. Don't show
weakness

I walked away without a second look.
Alessio's suit jacket remained on the floor, where I had left it before.

I bent down and took the jacket in my hand. I was trying so hard to avoid what I felt last night.

There was no way to describe it. No
words. I never felt that way before and I was still trying to wrap my head around it. Peace. That was what I felt. In the middle of yet another panic attack, Alessio's jacket brought me peace.
He brought me peace.
How was that even possible?

My mind was a mess when I walked into
the kitchen, where Maddie and Lena were waiting for me. When l walked in, both of them gifted me with genuine happy smiles.