Wishful Thinking

-One Shot-

Have you ever experienced liking someone? 

I used to think that having feelings for someone is an experience that gives you rose-tinted glasses, clouding your vision with a pink hue. All you can see is pink. The color of love.

your world that once varied all kinds of vibrant colors turned into different shades of red. A change that you end up preferring since it dulls down everything else that you deem unnecessary, while only one person retains their vibrant colors, the only color in your now monotone world. The person who gave you those rose-tinted glasses in the first place.

It sounds so beautiful, doesn't it? So wonderful, so great...

And so unbelievably sugar-coated that it sounds too good to ever be true.

And it hurts like a bitch when you finally realize how much it hurts to feel like you're constantly getting jabbed with small knives as you stubbornly continue to wear those rose-colored glasses, when those glasses are what prevent you from seeing who's hurting you in the first place.

-

"-and it was so tiring." F/N groaned as they rubbed their eyes, half-lidded with obvious fatigue from playing all night. you just laugh at them as I pat them on the shoulder "I feel bad for you, but that's your fault. Why are you blaming it on your game?" You say with a mocking smile on your face, your tone playful.

F/N glares at you as they slap your hand away. "As if you'd understand. At least I do something fun like playing games. What do you do besides playing around with randos you pick up from parties, you freak?" they snap back.

You just laugh at how groggy F/N's scowling face looks before hooking your arm around them. "And what's wrong with that? I don't bark at you for playing games. Let me have my fun, alright?" you coo. They just shake you off.

"fun. Yeah right. Bet that angry expression you bring home after every party indicates how much 'fun' you're having." They scoff.

You lower your eyes at them, inwardly laughing at yourself as you're reminded of how obvious it is that you are not having any fun at all. If you're going to be honest, going to parties and going home with whoever is more of a way to vent all frustration you accumulated after whatever you just witnessed in that alcohol-infested party.

Just being reminded of it darkens your expression. The sight of her happily talking with whoever, slowly drawing closer together, before going off to who knows where. 

Every single night you see that scene pan out in front of you, and it only deepens your bottled-up jealousy the more you see it. 

It fucking sucks.

But like some type of masochist,  you keep coming back in hopes to witness a different scene. A scene where she's just with friends, not with someone else. Someone who isn't you. And maybe, just maybe, the person she'll end up merrily talking to that night would be you, getting closer with you, and going off with you.

But like always, you end up disappointed. Disappointed that you even hoped for something as foolish as that. You inwardly scoff. 

Of course, it never changes.

Suddenly, you get pulled up from your deepening thoughts by F/N jabbing your arm. You snap your attention at them, pretending like you were totally not just thinking about how pathetic you are. "what?"

They click their tongue in annoyance. "Idiot. Look there!" they look ahead, indicating you to do the same. You give them weird looks as you turn forward. As your gaze meets a familiar figure, you immediately tense up.