Meeting God. {h.s}

11. How?

I sit quietly on my living room floor, eating a pint of ice cream and watching tv, while Harry is on the couch doing nothing. I blink while stuffing my face with ice cream.

I hear Harry shift a bit on the couch, but I don't pay mind to it. "Is something wrong?" He asks. I shrug. "Nope."

He suddenly stands up from the couch and sits on the floor next to me. He then grabs the remote and turns off the TV. With a mouth full of ice cream I look at him. "Why'd you do that?"

He sighs. "Tell me what's wrong."

I swallow my Ice-cream. "Nothing is wrong!" I say a bit to loudly. Before I realize my eyes widen and I look at him. His brow is raised.

"You're a terrible liar." He says while sighing and looking the other direction. I look the other direction as well. I feel the anger rise inside of me again. I tried so well to control it since the minute I met him.. But then.. I exploded.

"W-why didn't you help me before?" I spit out looking at him angrily. He turns his head with furrowed brows. "What?"

I gulp then moving my eyes to another object so I don't stare at this eyes and get intimidated. I have to let this out..

"Why weren't you there for me before? What did I do so wrong?" I yell angrily while tears fill my eyes and my hands are shaking.

He sighs. "Andrea calm do-"

"Don't tell me to calm down!" I yell standing up.

"I-I just Its really hard for me to believe that you're real- and that you want to help me now. After all these years!" I yell. And then without any time for him to reply, I grab my jacket and leave the apartment fast.

I don't know where I'm going. But I'll figure it out. I know for sure I don't want to go to a friends house- that's the last thing I want to do... Being alone is what I want. I can't talk to anyone about this. About what I've been feeling my entire life. It's hard because no one will understand.

I've been walking around for an hour. Trying to get to find a peaceful place. A place where I'll be alone.

I walk a couple more blocks and see a little green field. Which is right in front of the city skyline. It's already late at night so all the buildings of New York are shining brighter than ever. I sit on the green grass and just stare at the buildings and the beautiful stars shining in the sky.

A nice cool wind passes by and I feel more relaxed than ever. I close my eyes and bend my head back a bit while embracing the beautiful peacefulness. I open my eyes back at again and stare at the sight. Taking a deep breath.

I haven't come far in life. My parents probably think I'm a disappointment to the family since I'm not a rich, classy girl that works as a lawyer. And you're probably thinking, why would you ever give up that lifestyle? Well... I never liked it. It just wasn't me. I never felt welcomed... It was like I was an outsider. I knew since I was a little kid that I didn't belong there.

It's really crazy how long I put up with it until I finally decided it was time to pack up and leave. But overall, I'm happy with life. It's alright. It could be worse, but it's not. And that's what I like to think about when I'm on edge.

That it could be worse, but it's not.

I replay the thought in my head over, and over, and over again. People don't know I'm a paranoid bitch with anxiety and I freak about almost everything.

I blink while sighing.

"You're very strong Andrea." A recognizable voice says and I turn my head back, just to see Harry standing with a slight smile as I look up at him.

He sits next to me. In a peaceful silence we watch the skyline And stars. I secretly let out a tear as I see him looking at the view, clearly deep in thought. But still with a slight smile.

Why do I get a feeling that... That something's hurting him? And it hurts my heart just thinking about it.

"How do you do that?" I ask calmly.

"Do what?" He turns to me.

"How are you- managing the world-" I gesture to the beautiful skyline, "While helping me? You're doing a million things all the time. Don't you get tired?" I question.

He looks straight at the view while slowly blinking and sighing.

"I am tired. But... I hang on."