My Everday Life

Off To A Bad Start

I woke up and got some online school done. I thought today I could come out to my family that I'm gay. I told my sister first, and she was not happy, she told me she can t keep this a secret. I told her that I know but then she said she is going to have to tell the family. I told her its not her responsibility to tell the family that I'm gay. I just needed time to let them know cause I can't just walk up to them with a smile and say I'm gay. The next day the family therapist came, and as I and the therapist are talking alone in the living room my mom walks in crying looking at me...hate...I saw hate and disgust in her eyes. Then I saw my sister walking by the living room staring at me. My therapist asked my mom if she is ok. My mom just stares at me...she stares at me with hate. She says "I never thought my youngest son would be gay." Then at that moment, I knew...I knew my sister told my mother. I was more frustrated than anything on this planet. Then I yelled out to my sister "WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU TELL HER. IT'S NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!!! IT'S NOT YOUR RIGHT TO TELL MY FAMILY I'M GAY, THAT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY, YOU HEAR ME BITCH, MINE." My mother yelled at me saying I'm going to hell for being gay. And that's the issue about being gay in a CHRISTIAN household...You have people that think your disgusting...worthless...nothing....the devil...stupid...dumb...