Attack on Titan: Creative Process

Dialogue Example

As I've said many times, writing is a difficult and repetitive process. Sometimes getting a scene or line of dialogue exactly the way you want it is going to take multiple iterations and rewrites. You may need to rephrase or restructure to create the impact you want. Sometimes changing one word will make all the difference in the delivery of your scene. Sometimes cutting an entire paragraph makes it seem more full. 

I have used the conversation between the MC and Winter Schnee in "The Strength of a Soldier" many times to illustrate this, but I thought it might be worth seeing what this looks like live. Below is an excerpt from the chapter I'm currently working on for the Attack on Titan story. (F/N) has just saved Mina, and now the two are traveling through Trost to rendezvous with the others. This line of dialogue is (F/N)'s response to Mina calling herself a coward.

["Look, you keep tryin' to fight that fear 'cause you think that's what makes you brave, but it's not. People spend their entire lives tryin' to fight back that fear. People like Eren and Reiner. They're pretty damn good at it too." He laughed. "But sooner or later the time will come when you have to stare down death, and when you do all the fighting in the world ain't gonna be enough to keep you from dying afraid. Do ya understand? Fear is a part of life. Fear is a part of you, and you can't fight who you are, not forever. So, instead of tryin' to fight that fear, maybe it's time you try embracin' it. Make peace with it. That way you can die in peace, too."]

Not a terribly long line, but an extremely important one. (F/N) is telling Mina, and therefore the audience, his perspective of fear, which is a common and important motif in Attack on Titan and my story. It is also important to note that he is also giving his general outlook on people and life as well. People waste time fighting fear when they should embrace it, and embracing fear leads to a more meaningful life. Even though this conversation is not, strictly speaking, about either of those two subjects, there is an overlap. It was therefore vital that I get this line of dialogue as close to perfect as possible, because it expresses such a crucial part of my characters beliefs and ideologies. Understand how much character development occurred here, in just a few lines. And it was done in a subtle and relevant manner. I didn't come out and say "This is (F/N). (F/N) is brave." In fact, I very much showed how (F/N) is afraid. Still though, the reader understands the implication that he is brave because he faces his fear instead of running from it.

Moving on, what follows are the different iterations I wrote that were eventually rewritten and restructured into the finished product above. 

["You keep tryin' to fight that fear because you think it makes you brave. But fear doesn't make you a coward. It's what you do with that fear that really matters."]

["You keep tryin' to fight that fear because you think that's what makes you brave, but you need to realize that that fear is a part of you, and you can't fight that, you just can't."]

["You keep trying to fight that fear because you think that's what makes you brave, but it's not. People spend their entire lives tryin' to fight back that fear. Some are pretty damn good at it too."]

["I've watched people try their whole lives to fight off their fear."]

["I've watched people waste their lives tryin' to fight off that fear."]

["I've watched people try to fight that fear their whole lives. Some are pretty damn good at it too. They can fight it until the day they die."]

["Some can even fight it until the day they die."]

["Some are pretty damn good at it too. But eventually the time'll come when you have to stare down death, and when you do, all that fightin' ain't gonna do much good."]

["If you don't accept fear as a part of your life, it'll consume you in death."]

["Make peace with your fear, that way you can make peace with your death."]

["But you need to realize that that fear is a part of you, and you can't fight who you are, not forever. Even if you manage to chase it back your entire life, the time'll come when you have to stare down death, and when you do, all that fightin' ain't gonna be worth much."]

["Sure, you can fight it for a while. Hell, maybe you'll fight it off your whole life. But you need to realize that that fear is a part of you, and you can't fight who you are, you just can't. So, instead of tryin' to fight that fear, maybe try embracin' it instead. (maybe it's time to embrace it instead)"]