anhedonia; m.e

chapter one

she sat on the curb in front of the hospital, staring up at the sky. she pulled out a pack of cigarettes, staring at the last one for a few seconds. pulling it out, she held it between her index and middle fingers. her hand was relaxed as she placed the filtered end in between her lips.

she lit it and pulled a little smoke into her mouth. she removed the cigarette from her mouth and blew the smoke out of her nose. flicking the filtered end, she let the ashes fall to the concrete.

she slowly finished the cigarette and stood up, grinding it against the concrete with her shoe. she sat back down on the curb, staring back into the sky.

i finally decided to get out of my car and walk over to her. i sat down on the sidewalk next to her. i wasn't extremely close- about a foot away from her.

she ignored my presence.

"i'm matt," i said, holding out my hand for her to shake it.

"agnessa." she said with a light russian accent as she shook my hand, "but i guess you can call me ness, agnes, or nessa- whatever you prefer."

"actually, i like your whole name a lot." i said, causing her to shrug.

"so what are you doing here?" i asked.

"family." she responded simply. i didn't want to ask too much about her because i didn't know whether or not it would be tough for her to answer.

"listen, matt, don't be scared to be curious." she said as if she was reading my mind. she looked at me, a forced smile on her face.

i was not scared to be curious. not at all.

"okay so who is it in your family? what happened?" i asked.

she leaned back, placing her palms on the sidewalk behind her. "nothing," she said, laughing coldly.

i suddenly got an idea. i blurted, "wait, i work here. i could say that you're a family friend that i'm taking care of for the day. because my shift starts in.." i checked my watch."about 10 minutes"

she pondered over the idea for a bit before she said, "okay. but only because i have nothing to do today. this does not mean we are friends, and it definitely doesn't mean that you're my babysitter or something."

i smiled and stood up as she stood up quickly and tossed her empty pack of cigarettes into the trash next to the building, following me.