help me.. boyxboy

chapter 1. Trigger warning!

Xavier POV:
I was in my room just laying in bed listening to All Time Low: Break Your Little Heart. Shortly after the song had began my step dad barged through my door, he was drunk. Well this isnt going to end well... "Get up you lazy arse! No wonder why your real father left you, your to worthless to be loved." He yelled in my face, his breath stinched in alcohol. I was crying, my dad and I were close, but then something happened and he left me. Everything was blurry and I couldn't see anything. Then all the sudden my eye was in pain. My step dad was hitting me. I just stood there.. I couldn't do anything, I knew that if I moved he will only beat me worse. I fell to ground sobbing by now. I grab ahold of my stomach to try to stop the pain while he was kicking me. "Please stop! It hurts!" I sobbed. " You deserve it. You know your mum doesn't love you. Another kick. Why don't you die already. Not like anyone would care!" When he was done ranting on he finally left slamming my door. I was lying on the ground crying in pain. I'm pretty sure I have a black eye now.. Great sure I'll get bullied for that to tomorrow. I slowly get up and trudged my way to the bathroom holding my stomach.
I looked into the mirror and looked at myself. I had a busted lip and swollen black eye. I lifted my shirt, I looked at my stomach which was now littered in bruises. Great. I just stood there and looked at myself in the mirror. I'm worthless, pathetic. I shouldn't be living. Maybe I should kill myself not like anyone would actually care. I dont have any friends, so no one will really notice. It wold make my mums life easier." I thought to myself. I walked over to the cabinet and pulled out my special box that contains my special friends in them. I pulled out my blade and put it to my thigh. 1 cut 2 cuts.... About 10 cuts more I decided that was enough damage for the day... I jumped into the shower and stood under the water crying as the water turned into a crimson blood red. After about an hour I got out. I wrapped the towel around my waist and walked back to my room. I pulled on some boxers and and black T-shirt and slowly hauled myself into Bed. I turned on my alarm clocks for school tomorrow. I layed back and stared at the ceiling crying. I came to find myself thinking about Jake. Jake was my crush since highschool. Throughout highschool, me and him always some how gotten like The same exact schedule and we been in all of our main classes together. Which slightly made me happy, I wish I had the guts to talk to him. He seems a lot like me. He doesn't really talk much in school. Always has music on with his baggy hoodie. I wish he was gay.. But he probably isnt. I slowly fell asleep to the thought of Jake. He is the only reason why I go to school. So I can see him.