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FIVE YEARS LATER
As she laid there in the streets naked, beaten and heartbroken she wondered if she was going to die there. Maybe dying wouldn't be the worst thing ever after the trauma she endured.
Loss.
Death.
Heartbreak.
It felt like she was on a never ending roller coaster of emotions running through her head from that night and everything that happened after. Like it was on constant replay. A nightmare that she had every night. Except the difference was that it wasn't a nightmare. It was real.
TESSA always hated being the new student or the new worker at a new place. She didn't like the look people gave her once recognition settled in and it was like they became starstruck. And then they treated her differently because of it. The blurring noise of the alarm startled her as she realized she overslept which was never a good thing. Especially on her first day at a new place.
It was always the same nightmare that would never go away. No matter how much she wanted it to. Almost tripping over the sheets that had fallen down with her, she made a noise, as she readjusted them and made her way into her bathroom to do her morning routine.
She gathered her light blue scrubs that were laid out nicely on the back of her chair as she went to her bathroom to change. She had just moved to Seattle a couple of weeks ago and was all settled into her new apartment. After getting off the phone with her parents, she was in a rush to get to work, which was another thing she hated. Since she had saved up so much of her money she made from stripping, she was able to buy herself a nice apartment close to the hospital.
"Mom, I'll be fine, I promise," Tessa told her mom as she held the phone and was pouring herself a cup of her favorite Starbucks coffee in her tumbler as she hurried to pack her lunch.
"I know," Natalie let out a sigh. "I just worry about you is all. What if you see Alex?"
"If I see him, I see him. I'm sure he's long gone by now though."
"Oh honey-"
"Mom, I gotta go-"
"Of course. Have a good first day. I love you."
"I love you too," she told her mom and hung up as she let out a sigh and closed her eyes.
Deep breath in and out, just like her therapist said.
Whenever you feel the panic start to come, remember where you are. Just close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Deep breaths in. Deep breaths out.
She had so many thoughts running wild through her brain about this decision. Was it the right one? Was it wrong? Should she have accepted Cedars-Sinai Hospital in California instead? Maybe. But she had to remember that Seattle Grace was a great teaching hospital. Not that Cedars-Sinai wasn't, but Seattle Grace was rated number one and she wanted to go to the best hospital for her residency, even if it did mean seeing her ex-boyfriend.
