Irulan Corrino always knew she'd marry for political reasons, not for affection.
She didn't know she'd fall in love with Paul Atreides, but she did, and perhaps she's doomed to suffer a lifetime of watching the man she loves -her husband- love and...
What? Angsty smut? Me? Never. Positively unheard of. (Note: that is sarcasm, for those of you who didn't pick up on it.)
Have fun and don't read it in church. Not because of the smut, but because reading anything written by me in a church will make you burst into flames.
Chapter title is from Black Wedding by In This Moment.
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The thought of you is like a knife between the cracks of my ribs into the hollow of my chest, which is empty, for my heart is still in your hands. With every breath I take, every word I speak, the thought of you aches in the way that all beautiful things do. Like there are wings in my ribcage and roses in my skull. I didn't ask for this thing called love, and yet here I am anyway, unable to let go of you, and falling deeper and deeper still.- Calliopx
He'd promised Chani he wouldn't be tender with her, Irulan knew. It was a given that he wouldn't kiss her. He didn't intend to go slowly, either, she assumed. He likely wanted it to be over with as fast as possible.
Traditionally, these sorts of things must be witnessed by a group of people. In this situation, it would probably be her father, the last emperor, Lady Jessica, and the Reverend Mother. However, Paul had refused to cooperate if they were present. He'd said he'd give them the sheets afterwards, and that one could listen at the door, but nothing beyond that.
Irulan wondered if he didn't want anyone witnessing him betray Chani, his love, with whom he had lost a son only a few months prior.
She loved him, though. Irulan had fallen for him harder than she'd ever thought possible. But she wasn't like Chani. Where Chani was dark, Irulan was pale with blonde hair and blue eyes. Where Chani was lithe and hard and muscular, Irulan was soft and curvy. Even in height, Chani towered over her.
She knew she wasn't what Paul wanted in a wife, let alone what he found attractive, but she'd fallen in love with him anyway.
He hadn't been at all what she'd expected of the man who overthrew her father. He'd always been kind to her, and he'd always been considerate. He listened when she spoke to him, and he seemed to truly understand the pressures and obligations she had grown up with, because he'd always had them, too.
And one day, he smiled at her, and everything fell into place:
She was in love with him.
Perhaps she was a fool.
It was to happen in her bedroom, the room she'd had since childhood. She expected it to be painful and horrible, especially because he didn't want it with her.
