MASQUERADE | shinkami

Chapter 1

This is the first fanfic that I've completed (and already has a sequel since it has been at least 1,5 years since I started it)!
I originally publish on ao3, but as I recently came back to read on wattpad, my roots, I decided to post here too. This story portrays a lot of aspects from my own experiences, so it's dear to me.
I hope you'll enjoy the reading!

Also, please, please be careful as this contains sensitive topics and is not indicated for the younger audience.
It doesn't contain smut.

Song: touch up - mother mother
TW: panick attack, self-deprecating

Ali

Denki's thumb slided softly on the screen of his freshly charged phone. He laid on his bed, an arm behind his neck. Listening to music with his headphones, he was scrolling through instagram. His playlist on shuffle, he arched an eyebrow when he saw Mina's new post.

All my makeup, it has washed off.

I need a touch up.

It was a picture where all of his Bakusquad friends appeared. They went to the beach last weekend all together. Denki refused to go, pretexting he was too tired and maybe a little sick. They were all smiling happily, except Bakugou. He wished he was there.

Mascara, all up in my eyes.

Chemical hair dyes and highlights.

Did they have fun? Were they comfortable in such a crowded place? He really wished he was there. Denki smiled to himself. He double tapped the screen and wrote a funny comment about the face Bakugou made and then kept scrolling through the app.

Higher than my lights.

Higher than highlights.

He loved hanging out with his friends. But going to the beach meant wearing a swimsuit. In front of a lot of people. In front of strangers. People would look at him, at his body. They would be disgusted, wouldn't they? He did the right thing by staying at the dorms.

All my makeup, it has washed off.

I need a touch up.

His thumb stopped on a man's photo. It was a mirror pic. The guy wasn't huge, but he had muscles. Denki wished he had some too. The man had a pretty face and cute smile. Denki stood up and approached the mirror of his bathroom. He tried to smile.

I need a touch up.

I need a touch up.

I need a touch up.

So ugly. Denki thought. He sighed and lowered his head to the sink. He wished he could take pictures of himself just like this man did. But he wasn't allowed. Denki wasn't pretty enough. He wasn't attractive enough. He wasn't hot enough. The song just kept playing in his ears.

Need a nip and a tuck.

Need to be cropped and cut.

I need a touch up.

I need a haircut.

He looked back at the mirror again. A haircut, huh? It didn't change anything. His blond hair didn't make him prettier when he dyed them. Denki took off his shirt. This view was the most horrifying to him. He was used to his face, but now that was his body .

I forget that I can remember when,

I was young climbing up fences.

Why did he have to look like this? His hands followed a path to his fake blond hair, pulling some strands. Will someone even want him? Good looking people always received nice comments on their appearance. If that was love, he wanted to be loved too. Did he even deserve it, though?