Legend Of Zelda Skyward Sword Anti Piracy Screen: The Imprisoned

Legend Of Zelda Anti Piracy Screen: The Imprisoned

Posted 1\12\2012 at 10:30 pm

I already know what you're thinking. "Oh jeez, another 12 year old talking about some fanmade anti piracy screen." Well, this is the real deal. None of this is fake, all of the screenshots were taken with an old polaroid I've had for roughly 15 years. 

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Andrew. I'm a pretty big Nintendo fan, you talk to one of my friends, they'll mention at least one thing related to Nintendo and say how much I love and respect the franchise. Well tonight, I'm gonna share my experience with none other than the recent LOZ game "Skyward Sword." 

So I went to the previous E3 that showcased a trailer for the game, I was very obviously hyped to the point where I couldn't sleep that night, hoping time would fast forward to November 18th of 2011. But on the day of the game's release, money was pretty tight in my family at the moment, so I couldn't afford it at that time. Plus my mom had grounded me that week and took away my allowance until my punishment time was over. So I was out for a walk in the city one day, the day before my punishment would be over and my mom would give me my long awaited allowance that she promised to give me once I had done my time. one of the upcoming sidewalks was closed for construction, so I had to take the alleyway home. As I was walking down, I saw a man handing out, get this...FREE copies of Skyward Sword! 

I had walked up to him and without saying anything, he handed me a copy. I kindly said thanks before walking away, it was then that a cop stopped me in my tracks and asked if I had seen a guy selling fake copies of Nintendo games in the area. I simply told him no and that I was heading home from the local Gamestop after buying my game. He believed me and let me go, which was a huge sigh of relief for me on my end. So I casually headed home and booted up my Wii. The game started up as normal, prompting the Wiimotion Plus accessory, which I had on hand from Wii Sports Resort. I started up my profile and got to experience a pretty good portion of the game. But before I could go through the gate of time, I had to defeat The Imprisoned for the second time. I think you have to defeat it for a total of 3 times. But I'd ask you comment how it was actually supposed to happen, because after what happened, I flat out refuse to play Skyward Sword ever again. 

So the cutscene went as normal...That is up until the end, where Groose said that he'd prepare his latest contraption "The Groosenator" and use it in battle. Just as he left the temple to head to the sealed grounds. The Old One then turned to me and said "I really thought I could trust you, Link..." which then cut to me running out once again. Before I jumped off the ledge, I was given a prompt that Fi wanted to speak to me. I then press my down key on the Wiimote and she then floats out from my sword. 

"Master Link. It seems as though you've committed a crime." Fi said, I was then given too options, the left being "Yes, and I apologize..." and the right being "No I didn't!" I choose the second one. "I beg to differ. It has come to my attention that you've pirated a copy of Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword. What do you have to say for yourself?" I was then greeted two more options, those being "Turn me in." or "You've got the wrong guy." Once again, I chose the second one since I still believed that I had an actual copy. Fi's eyes then turned a bright red and her body slowly was cloaked in the blackest shade of black I've ever seen (no I'm not being sarcastic). We then got a zoom in show of her face as the sky faded to a grim black color with red clouds. "You are not The. Chosen. Hero." she said suddenly taking away my sword and every single weapon I had on hand. "Goodbye, Link." she then flew high in the sky, before colliding with The Imprisoned. Thus teaming up with a new boss "The Corrupted."

I, a now defenseless Link, go to the bottom of The Sealed Grounds, hoping I'd be able to defeat the duo without issue. Of course, I was wrong. Fi then took notice and began to breathe a line of fire. It only took away 2 hearts since I became pretty good at dodging in the game. Groose then called from above and I was given one option. "HELP ME!" which I frantically chose. Groose laughed for a moment before looking back down at my helplessness. "I dunno, Link. You DID pirate this video game. How should I return the favor? Oh I know! Time to taste defeat, wimp." he then began to catapult giant bombs at me, I was unable to dodge then since they were pretty powerful. Soon, The Imprisoned made his way up to the temple, Fi carrying my now half dead body. I was on the ground, unable to get up. "You know, Link. Just before Big Ugly escaped from that seal again, there was something I wanted to tell you." Groose smiled. Fi then interjected as he continued to laugh. "You were never really The Chosen Hero, Link. We wanted you to get a taste of what you'd experience if you had bought an authentic copy of the game." The music began to grow distorted and Fi gave the creepiest smile I've seen next to Midna. 

"You see, I was the hero of the story all along, just like I'd imagined it." Groose boasted, panning to Link's shocked face. "The only reason I came down here with you was to follow Fi's plan to end your adventure....At least, until you purchase the real deal, then you can see more of me." he chuckled. "By the way, Fi. Do you think you could hand me those thingamabobs that our criminal was carrying around with him this whole time?" Fi then handed Groose the Master Sword and all I had collected throughout the duration of my playtime. "This may hurt a bit." The Old One chuckled. "Oh but it'll all be worth it in the end, and we can watch Groose succeed where Link couldn't." Fi complimented. Groose then raised his sword, as if he was gonna stab me, but just as he did...the screen went to black.

I expected a "Game Over" screen to appear, but that didn't happen just yet. Zelda came on screen with tears in her eyes. She sobbed for a few seconds before locking eyes with me. "How...How could you, Link. We trusted you to save us from the darkness that has flooded the world. I wish I wasn't so blind." she sobbed once more. "I should have let Groose win the wing ceremony that day, not you. You never cared about your stupid loftwing. I knew you never took care of it behind closed doors, why do you think it was called a CRIMSON LOFTWING to begin with." which gave me a moment to connect the dots. She basically accused me, or Link in this case, of abusing a loftwing! "Please think before pirating a copy of a licensed video game. Don't come back until you have a legal copy of this game..." she then walked off screen before it then gave me the game over screen, the only options I was given were to either "Delete Save File" or "Report The Software To Nintendo" I chose the first, expecting this nightmare to be over...

ONCE AGAIN, NO!

I was greeted to Fi once more, but she was back to her normal self. What a relief, that cutscene was terrifying to watch. She then sated the following... 

"THE FOLLOWING COPY HAS BEEN DETECTED AS PIRATED SOFTWARE. PLEASE REPORT THE COPY TO NINTENDO OR REFER TO YOUR INSTRUCTION BOOKLET FOR FURTHER DETAILS." I tried skipping past the text but it kept repeating up until I had to turn off my Wii. I tried restarting once more, my save file was still in tact, despite me clearly asking to delete it... I boot it up once more only to be greeted with that darned Fi cutscene I left off on. "God fucking dammit!" I yelled before unplugging the Wii. Sadly for me, the cutscene continued playing regardless. 

I had informed my parents of what happened and what I should do. They didn't ground me for the most part as they had brushed this off as me not knowing it was fake, which I was glad to hear. But I wound up having to save up for a new Wii in the process. 

So there's my story. I know it sounds farfetched for a silly anti piracy screen, but that's why I shared screenshots for you all to look at. Do I plan on getting a copy of Skyward Sword, probably, but not for a while as I'm still recovering. Thanks for listening to those who clicked on this post.

Andrew Davis