The depressing shit

I'm sorry

Me and my sister wrote this together.

PURE VANILLA POV

I stood in the kitchen watching my husband cook rotten tomatoes. Why? For the dog. What dog? I have no idea.

He was chopping the rotten tomatoes with.

RONCO ROCKER .

Our favorite knife!

I watched as he chopped and chopped, watching the knife smoothly slide through the tomatoes. Before it stopped. Dark Cacao had accidentally cut his hand off.
I covered my mouth as he stepped backwards in pain, dramatically tripping and stabbing himself in the throat.

I cried out in anguish. My husband, now dead. I heard him choking, but for me he's dead. I don't wanna drag him to a hospital. Instead I run to our bathroom to cry.

I feel the urge to poop.

I pulled down my pants and sit on the toilet.

I felt it coming. because I'm gay.
I squeeze my butt cheeks.

I moaned in pain.

I pushed more until I felt it push past my rim.

And then....It wasn't poop, IT WAS A BABY!!!

I GASPED IN SHOCK. OH HOLY JESUS, I'M A VIRGIN!

Then I remembered last night- That's not important right now.

I stood up and looked at the bloody toilet, and saw the baby was drowning.

Then I flushed the toilet. I mean, the baby was ugly...

I heard a screech as Hollyberry kicked down the door.

"ABORTION IS WRONG!"

I punched Hollyberry in the chest and threw her out the window, screaming "YOUR EXISTENCE IS WRONG!"

I smiled in triumph, before I saw Dark Cacao drag himself through the door, bleeding out.

I panicked because he was a zombie so I stabbed him with my staff..then I noticed he wasn't a zombie.

I covered my mouth. Oopsies. Oh well. I stepped over his body into the kitchen, craving a snack.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed his, manly yet beautiful and delicate hand, then made a sandwich out of his hand... yes I used pretzel bread..

I grabbed the mayo I had that was made from Dark Cacao's cum, and smeared it between the bread and hand.

I took a big bite and then I realized......I didn't debone his hand! So I had to take apart the whole sandwich and debone his hand, then remake it.

I finished my sandwich and licked my lips, then looked at the ground to see the fetus I had flushed earlier gripping my leg.

I pulled out my gun that I keep right at my crotch then shoot the thing to death.

I smile while looking at it's mangled corpse. I walk out of the house, whistling and looking at the neighbors.

Turns out my neighbor was.....DARK ENCHANTRESS...

I walked forwards towards her, but was stopped by Black Raisin. She looked at me in shock.

"Hea- Pure Vanilla Cookie.. You're covered in blood!"

"Oh, I am? I should've washed it off..."

She stared at me in concern.

"Are you alright.?"

"I'm perfectly fine!....Who are you calling?...."

"The cops!"

She replied in a haste

"....Why?"

I couldn't believe what she was doing...calling on the cops...on ME?? I couldn't understand..

I felt the heat pooling to my face. Anger. I shot her straight through the head with my gun, which so happened to be a shotgun.

I stared down at her dead body...then I Looked at my hands...What happened to me.....?

Footsteps...approaching....then the sound of a very familiar cookie..

"Pure Vanilla Cookie what have you done?!?!"

Then I realized...it was Black Raisin Cookie..

(Part twoo..???)