Trying Again

An Ending

Sarah sat under the slide in the park, curled up, hugging her knees to her chest. Tears streamed down her cheeks as the future she'd been envisioning for months shattered and fell away, leaving only a cold hopelessness in its place. Her long black hair curtained her face, hiding her from the world.

A glass bottle of cream soda appeared in front of her face, outlined with the orange of the setting sun. Sarah raised her head, just a bit, revealing her red-tinged brown eyes. A woman, old enough to be wearing makeup but young enough to not need it, bent down towards her, holding the bottle with the tips of her fingers.

"Something sweet to counter the bitterness of your tears," she said.

The woman had unruly brown hair that barely brushed her shoulders. Her mascara and dark eyeliner made her hazel eyes that much brighter. She wore a black, unzipped hoodie over a white tank top and tight jeans, dressing a bit light for the early winter weather.

Sarah accepted the drink. The chill of the bottle provided a slight distraction from her thoughts. "Thanks."

The woman sat down on the wooden structure across from Sarah. "You'll feel better if you talk about it."

Sarah took a deep breath, her exhale shaky. She clutched the soda with both hands, considering whether to answer. Talking about it with a stranger would be better than talking about it with someone who knew her, certainly. And she did want to talk about it.

"I'm going to break up with my girlfriend."

The woman hummed. "That's tough. Why?"

"She... I..." Sarah folded her arms on top of her knees and pressed her forehead against them.

"Take your time."

"I decided to wait until I turned eighteen before having sex," Sarah explained. "But she thought that was silly. She'd say things like, like she was so in love with me, her thoughts were constantly filled with me, or that she wanted to see all of me, or such. And that it wasn't like I would magically be different when I turned eighteen. That maybe I didn't love her as much as she loved me because I didn't want to do it."

"That's a bad sign."

"Tonight, I was going to stay over at her place. But, she started touching me in weird ways, and I, I snapped and ran away."

"Understandable."

"Am I being silly?" Sarah swung the soda bottle in small circles. "Like, I wanted to be together with her forever, so waiting a few months didn't seem to be a hard thing. But, if I was planning to do it at some point, wouldn't it be okay to do it earlier?"

The woman hummed again. "When you're young, love seems so magical. But, it's really not. It never lasts. You need more than love for a long-term relationship. You need trust, mutual understanding, support. Your first time is special. If she wasn't willing to respect your desire to wait, something that seems pretty important to you, that shows a lack of respect for you."

Sarah curled up tighter.

"If you relented on that, how many other, less important things would you relent on?" The woman leaned forward. "Which movies you'd see? Where you'd go to eat, or for dates? What college you'd go to? What clubs you'd join? How much of yourself would you lose, if you kept giving in to her selfishness?"

A chill ran down Sarah's spine. She remembered all the times she'd suggested a date, a movie, a restaurant, and Elizabeth had put forth an alternative that Sarah went along with. Getting to do what she really wanted was a bit of a rarity, but she hadn't cared before, since she'd loved Elizabeth. Or, at least, thought she did.