Ideal Home II Countryhumans AU [USSR x UK]

P R O L O G U E

[ DISCLAIMER: Some b a d countries/people would be included in this, well USSR is already an obvious one. But some others will be here too. They'll most likely have minor roles. And no, they're not going to be uwu cat boys nor quirky edgelords.

Basically their lore is that USSR and the others are dead, but because of magic, they got revived someway somehow, and since they know they can't do nothing anymore because of how advanced the technology has gotten since the 60+ years they've been dead and what not, so they just choose to vibe in the background and start normal lives.

Such as Soviet Onion over here who decided to marry Brit-Cheese lmao ] 

"Ugh, why are you always so inconsiderate?!" Britain yells at his husband as the two bicker again. What a nice way to start a morning.

"Me, inconsiderate? How narcissistic can you be?!!" Soviet retorts, looking down at the shorter male. Hands curled into fists. Blood boiling. He's this close to swinging those fists and ruining Britain's sweet little face.

"After all I've told you, you still think I'm being 'narcissistic '?? " 

And there, chaos ensued. The two shouting at each other, retorting back and forth. Neither side seemed to be tired or wanting to back down. The two are in full rage at each other. The argument never ending.

RING RING

Er... Well, it felt like it was never going to end.

Britain's retort was cut short upon it being interrupted by the resounding ring of his phone that was placed on the wooden drawer in front of them. The British man darts a small glare at Soviet before he storms off to tend to the caller. A part of him was thankful for someone calling. Soviet was giving him another bad headache.

"Hello? .... America! Fancy you called. What do you need? "

The atmosphere was uneasy, but the room was silenced for a moment. Neither did Soviet want to utter a word. Instead, he watched his husband converse with his son on the phone with arms crossed and furrowed eyebrows.

" Now? Like, right now? Oh... No, no. I'm free...  Alright, see you there. Bye. "

A beep resounds from the phone as Britain places it back down and scurry over to the closet, getting some proper clothes to wear outside. 

"What did he say?"

"Got some documents we need to discuss about, and some contracts to possibly sign," Britain sighs. "It's a mess. We're going to talk about it there."

"Where?" 

"Somewhere."

This only angered Soviet more. Believe it or not, he's a protective husband, and a rather jealous one at that. " Where?  " He repeats.

Britain ignores him blatantly. He puts on another fancy coat of his before swiftly taking his phone. He opened the door and paused before leaving. He looked back at Soviet with a dark glare. "Try not to demolish the house while I'm gone." and then he slammed the door closed and left.

Soviet growled. He has a bit of anger issues and when he's pissed, he takes it out on breaking something. It got worse when Britain just mocked him about it. But of course, just as Britain instructed him too, he doesn't want to accidentally make a hole in the wall. They've blown a lot of money just to fix parts of the house so many times now. Instead, he threw himself on the bed, took his pillow, and screamed his loudest into it.

Meanwhile, Britain was starting to get better that he's out of the house. This was a way for him to cool off. He's not really ready for what America is about to say, for he was being very mysterious during their phone call. He didn't even mention what they were going to be discussing. All he said was that they urgently need to meet up and there's some important paperwork involved.

Reaching to the location America instructed him to go, he rolled his eyes, walking up to the man who was sitting by a table, busy on his phone. "Really? A cafe?" He questions in a deadpan manner.  

America suddenly looks up from his phone. "Yeah, why not?" He snickers, "Seems cool and aesthetic, no? Dark academia with the fancy little cups ya'll have and all. Even already ordered you your favourite."

Britain sighs as he takes a seat in front of America. "Thank you, but anyway, what's all this about?" 

America puts away his phone as he then pulls out a brown envelope, flopping it onto Britain's side. "Take a look inside."

Britain darts a hesitant glare at his son before doing what he was told. The papers inside almost made his heart skip a beat. "Adoption papers...?"

"Well, sorta. More like just custody? Eh, I've got no time to explain the details but I'm sure you already get it, right? I need someone to take care of Bayani."

"The bloke has 50 other older brothers and sisters. Why not get them to take care of him?"

"Yeah, no... Y'see, I wanna get rid of him. But UN's gonna get on my back if I go with my original plan."

"And that is?"

"Take him out to sea, lying that we're going fishing or something. Then drowning him when we're in the middle of aquatic nowhere." 

Britain snickers a little as he reads the papers. "And again, another part of me shines in you. Oh, how you make me proud."

"Heh, yeah." America takes a sip of his cappuccino. "But as you know, I just can't do that. I've got no one else after me and Phil divorced. I was hoping you could maybe-"

Britain puts the papers back in the envelope and slides it back to America. "-No." He sips his cup of tea. "I've already got my hands full."

"I told you that damn communist's just going to give you problems."

Britain almost choked on his beverage, which was especially not ideal because of how hot it is. "Let's not discuss about that..." He sighs as he leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. "Even if Soviet wasn't around, I'd still refuse."

America frowns. Britain tried so hard to read his expression. He wanted to win this battle and have America bugger off and ask someone else to do his dirty work instead, but because of his heavily-tinted sunglasses, that's not exactly that easy, isn't it? And yet even so, Britain stands his ground and frowns back.

And for a moment, there was deafening silence between the father and son. America broke it with an annoyed grumble. "Dad, please. I'm desperate. Kid's gotta be dropped off somewhere, right?"

He takes out the papers and shows him the contract. "You're the only one I could trust for this."