roller derby queen ~ j.g.

twelve

dakota hears the clock in the living room ding midnight as she slowly opens the basement door. it creaks and she freezes, waiting for someone to hear her. the house is still, so she pushes the door open all the way and puts her duffel bag down on the floor so that she can silently close the door behind her. she looks around as she picks her bag back up. no lights, no noises. she's in the clear.

it's not that she hated being here. she loved casey, and gordon seemed nice enough, and the house was bigger and better than she could have ever imagined. but there was just... something about it that she couldn't seem to get over. charlie and fulton she could deal with. they weren't horrible (at least, not that she thought), they were just annoying, and fulton was even turning out to be better than she thought. so why couldn't she get over the feeling that she was being suffocated?

her car was still sitting in the driveway, and she knows it'll be easy enough to leave without anyone noticing if she leaves her lights off until she's at the end of the road. and then... back to campus? she didn't really know what she was going to do, but she would figure it out. she always did.

"what the fu- dakota?" the kitchen light turns on in the room next to her, and fulton's head pops around the corner. "what are you doing?" dakota freezes. damn it. she feels like a deer in the headlights. she doesn't even know what to do.

"uh. hi." she and fulton just stared at each other for a second, neither of them knowing quite what to say. "i was just uh, well-"

"leaving?" dakota doesn't know what to say. but she knows he understands. he has to understand. so she nods. fulton doesn't even look surprised. she half expects him to just let her go. which, he kinda does.

"oh, well, uh... you haven't seen the living room yet," he says awkwardly. "we've got a really nice tv, and star wars is on if you want to finish the movie with me before you leave." dakota doesn't quite know what to say to that either. this guy was really just full of tricks, wasn't he? but she does really like star wars, and she knows they have to have a nice tv...

"i guess i can make some time for that," she says, shrugging.

fulton smiles. "awesome." he grabs a bag of chips from the pantry and tosses a bag of puffcorn at her. "that good with you?" she nods. he hits the lights and leads the way through the hallway toward the living room.

the grandfather clock in the living room strikes midnight as they get settled on the couch; fulton on one end, dakota at the other. her bags sat waiting at the entry of the living room, ready to go whenever she wanted to. star wars was already on, and fulton seemed to immediately get engrossed in it the second they sat down, so dakota was looking forward to not having any more awkward conversations. she turned her attention to the movie. the empire strikes back wasn't her favorite, but she still really liked it. plus leia was really hot.

the crew had just escaped from the exogorth when the tv cuts to a commercial break. dakota feels fulton shift beside her, but a few seconds pass before he speaks.

"why do you want to leave?" dakota's head snaps toward him. he looks apprehensive, like he's afraid she might explode, but she can't find anything on his face that makes her think he's going to rat her out, so she decides to answer truthfully.

"honestly?" she says, leaning back into the corner of the couch. "i feel like i'm being suffocated." fulton doesn't react, he just nods like he understands. he probably does. dakota gets the sudden feeling that they're probably more alike than she realized. they sit in silence for a while, not looking at each other, but she can tell that the conversation probably won't end there. she's proven right.

"i feel like that too," fulton says softly. dakota can tell he doesn't quite know what to say, but he sounds genuine. "i just think that..." he trails off, thinking. "i think that sometimes... we're just so not used to someone actually caring about us that it feels like a bad thing when it happens." dakota finds herself nodding slowly without realizing. he continues. "but they're trying. and i know it feels... weird." he shrugs and crosses his arms in front of him tightly. "hell, i'm still getting used to it and i've been with bombay-" he shakes his head slightly. "gordon, for nearly a year."

dakota looks up at him, surprised. a whole year? she'd never met anybody her age that had been in a placement that long. maybe gordon really was different. she thinks about what it would be like for her to stay there a whole year. it sounded... kinda nice, actually. it had been a long time since she'd had a place to call home.

fulton looks at her. "but i promise that no matter how weird it feels, running away doesn't help." he clears his throat awkwardly and looks away. "i know it feels like it does, and it's worked for you before, but he's different. he actually gives a shit if you're gone." he backs up into the couch and stares at the floor. "i uh. i took off last summer. vicky and i just got in the car and drove." he chews on his lip. "i wasn't here yet, and the placements i had been in were... not the best. i was sure it would make things better."

"my other placement didn't give a shit that i was gone, but bombay never stopped looking for us. i wasn't even with him yet. he just wanted us safe. he's the one that came and got us, made sure vicky got home safe. and i think he wanted to do everything he could to make sure that it didn't happen again." he swallows. "i spent some time uh... away for a while, but when i got back, he had made sure that i got placed with him. fast-tracked the classes and everything so that he could get approved by the time i got back." fulton half-smiles at that, like he still can't believe it.

the movie's started up again in the background, but dakota doesn't really care about it anymore. "he sounds like a good guy."

fulton looks at her and nods. "he is. i promise. it takes some getting used to but," he shrugs. "i don't think you'll regret staying if you do." he relaxes and uncrosses his arms, turning away from her, and the moment's over. "it's your choice, though," he finishes, shrugging. they both watch the movie for a little while, not saying anything. dakota notices that the silence isn't as awkward as it was before.

she can't tell how much time has passed, but at some point she and fulton had both grabbed separate blankets from the back of the couch to wrap themselves in, and she feels her eyes starting to get heavy.

"hey, fulton?"

"yeah?"

"for a goon, you're kinda good with words sometimes."

she hears him snort from the other end of the couch. "night, dakota." there's a smile in his voice.

"g'night."

he's still there when she wakes up in the morning.