A Court of Love and Ruin

chapter one: the beginning (edited and revised)

                Sweat dripped down the length of her nose and down the column of her throat as she struggled to hold on. The rock's edge bit into her hands making them raw, callused, and bloody. She began pulling herself up the mountain. For dad, she thought, for Cassian, for Azriel, Feyre, Amren, Rhysand, for Jalero and Mariem she chanted the names in her head while pulling herself up. She was halfway through the list of names when one she hadn't thought of for a long time flew through, mom. Do it for mom. She made herself stagger against the wall with a missed step. But she kept on pushing. She was maybe a quarter of the way up the mountain when she saw a male Illyrian body falling from the mountain above, she started to move aside, to let him fall. But at the very last second, she reached her arm out to grab his own. It was fucking Jalero. That meant Mariem was up ahead somewhere, probably shitting bricks. She struggled to hold onto him, he was at the very least 6'3'' with a broad wide set shoulder and had muscle on muscle, she swore to the gods, for days. She did her best to get them both over to a small cliffed edge where she could set the unconscious male long enough to untie one of his boots, unlaced the laces, and tie the boot to his other. Moving to sit in front of him, looping his arms around her shoulders, she began to tie them together and hauling herself up. Here goes nothing, she breathed, exasperated.

              It was possibly three hours later when he gained consciousness. He almost knocked them down the mountain when she yelled "Cut it out bro!" Jalero paused, confused as he tilted his head "y/n?" he inquired. She grunted in response. He recalls her telling them to go ahead, she'd meet them at the end. "To the end of the line", they said in unison, at the bottom of Mount Ramiel. Mariem had pulled her in a strong embrace, "You better meet us there kiddo." She softly smiled at the two older males, "Of course I will, wouldn't miss beating you there for a second." he also remembers slipping, Mariem reaching out, calling his name. There was so much fear on his face he felt his stomach twist.

                 He was so lost in thought, he didn't even acknowledge y/n pulled them to a semi-large ledge and started untying his hands until he felt the pressure ease from his sore slightly bloody wrists. She handed back his shoelace with a feline grin. He chuckled and laced his oddly placed boot back up. "I'm fucking exhausted" y/n finally said, "you're heavy as hell". He gave her a messy shrug. " Do we need to stop?" "Absolutely not, Mariem is probably losing his fucking mind."

         The pair started back up the mountain, towards the end praying it was almost over.

             She'd never really thought about love. The concept of mates never crossed her mind as it did with everyone else. Of course, she has had some crushes growing up, she was in a camp full of boys, but that didn't mean it was love, sure too little y/n it was. But looking back on it. The boys were rude and all conditioned to believe women ain't shit, that they were meant to be obedient, they aren't as strong as the men. There were no women soldiers. y/n desperately wished to change that. She ached every day to go through the rite. To become one of Illyria's soldiers. Even though her father made sure her wings never got touched and forced the men to train with her, he didn't think she couldn't do it. He didn't want her to try, fearing what could happen.

             Her only friends were Jalero and Mariem. They stood up for her when she was cornered by a group of angry boys. She was scared out of her mind. She worried herself sick about her wings. What if they touched them? She thought, feeling sick to her stomach. They stepped into her life that day and never left. They were like her brothers. They stood by her when training, correcting her, and just overall helping her perfect her almost perfect moves. She was one of the top trainees but the other boys wouldn't acknowledge so. Not only was she a woman but she was also the general's daughter, 'he must have taught her', 'she's not that good on her own.'