To Love Me - OUAT/Peter Pan Fanfiction

Chapter twenty-two

I opened my eyes and glanced at him. My body didn't hurt anymore, but it still felt numb, so I couldn't quite say something about my condition.

"The numb feeling will stay for a while...",He said, looking guilty. It made me feel sorry because I was the one judging him even though he just took a lot of his power to heal me.

"Sorry..."

"Why are you sorry, darling?" He asked, pulling me back on his lap. It was the first time I ever wondered how he could not be exhausted by me.

"I'm sorry for causing problems all the time. And for judging and exhausting you..." I talked so fast that I almost stuttered. He gently rubbed my cheek and a smile appeared on his face.

"You're sorry for causing problems? Darling, Hook is the one causing problems not you."

"But...if I wouldn't be here-"

"Don't say that." His expression grew serious. "Don't think it's because you're here. Hook would've came here anyway."

I nodded at his words and leaned my head against his shoulder. His thumbs slowly drew circles on my back and my breath got calmer. He was always able to calm me.

After a while, we got up and went back to the camp. Peter asked if he should teleport us there, but I felt like I exhausted him enough, so I just decided to walk. It turned out to be hard to walk if you can't feel anything at all. Or at least almost nothing. It was only a weak sense.

In the camp were at the moment only two boys. Two younger children who had the job to take care of everything and prepare the dinner. I watched them from a log while drawing different animals in the sand. Suddenly one of them walked towards me and stared at my, well drawn, parrot.

"What's that?" He asked.

"A parrot." I answered and began to explain him different animals, starting by drawing them. Soon the second boy walked up aswell and so I explained both of them different animals they've never seen.

It turned out we've been talking to long because suddenly I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"What's going on here? Aren't you two supposed to prepare the food?" Felix asked, glancing at the two boys who jumped up and disappeared in a tent.

"Nice that you keep them away from their duties...really...but I wonder how you'll explain this to Pan?" He chuckled and gave me an amused look.

How I hated that he was right. I kept them away from their work for almost an hour. Peter wouldn't be really enjoying this and I already felt awful for exhausting him so much.

I quietly got up and sneaked in Peter's tent. Why was I such a bad person? Whenever there was a possible chance to make a mistake, I took it.

I wrapped my hands around my knees and stared in the air. How could Peter stand me? Nobody ever even hugged me and he did that all the time. Maybe...he's having pity me...

...

Then why did he kiss me? And why did I kiss him back? Do I- actually love him?

"Where is she?" Someone asked, bringing my mind back to reality. I glanced at the tent entrance where the voices came from.

"Dunno. A second ago she was still there." Felix answered to the well known voice.

Then Peter entered the tent. His eyes fall on me and a concerned look appeared on his face.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" I quickly sat back in a normal position and smiled at him.

"Nothing! I'm all good." It took my only a second to realize that my answer came to fast. I could see it on his face. He didn't believe a word I'm saying. His look got darker as he walked up to me.

He grabbed me and pulled me in a tight hug. I wanted to pull out of it because he held me extremely close but he didn't let go of me.

"Tell me, darling, why would you lie to me?" He asked and I heard the coldness in his voice. I shivered and didn't dare to look at him. It hurted to hear the sadness mixed with anger.

"I'm sorry..." Maybe that wasn't the best thing to answer to his question.

"That's not what I asked." He pressed me even closer to him and it started to hurt a bit.

"P-Please let go of me..."

"Answer my question."

It started to hurt stronger.

"It hurts, Peter..."

"I can make it stop. Just tell me."

I shook my head.

"I can't. I don't want you to think badly of me."

"WHY DID YOU LIE?! What are you not telling me?" He yelled, pushing me on the bed. His hands were holding mine up as he leaned above me.

Tears formed in my eyes as he yelled at me. He knew how much I hated it when someone yelled at me.

"Tell me...I don't want to see you cry..." He said, softer this time.

"Are you having pity with me? Is this the reason how you can actually stand me?" I finally asked, not able to hold it back.

I closed my eyes to calm myself but my heart just beated faster.

He let go of my hands and I could feel him move above me. Then, suddenly, he pulled me to him and hugged me gentle. His hands rubbed my back while I hid my face in his chest, trying to stop sobbing.

"Why would you think that? Why would you ever think I can only "stand" you?" He asked and I could literally hear the sadness in his voice.

"Because...I just don't think anyone could ever really like me."

He stopped rubbing my back and lifted my chin up. I glanced at him with my wet eyes. It was a magic moment. His hands were on each side of my cheek and his eyes were locked with mine. Then it happened again. For a second time, we kissed.

It was a long, passionate kiss, which didn't stop until I gasped for air. So did he. He pulled my head against his and we just closed our eyes, realizing what happened.

"I would never kiss someone because I pity them. I would kiss someone because I love them." He said and lifted his head up to look at me. As I looked at him, a realization hit me. I loved him, too.

The way he smiled. The way he made me desperate for something I never needed. His strict but soft character. His looks. Everything about him made me love him so much. Was I really what he wanted? After all, it was me...

"You sure you love me...?" I asked, looking at his hands.

"How many times should I kiss you to make you realize that I really love YOU?" He laughed and kissed me again.

I laughed slightly and let myself fall in his arms.

"I love you too, Peter."