Power of the Witch

Chapter 13

Rachel faced him squarely. "Yes, sir? Or should I say "my lord"?" He flinched but tried to hide it. "I should have told you
in the beginning." Racel wasn't about to get into a discussion of it. "What do you want?" "Can we go in there?" He nodded toward what looked like a small library-office combination. Rachel didn't want to, but she couldn't think of any acceptablr reason to refuse. She followed him and crossed her arms when he closed the door. "You saved my life." He wasn't quite facing her; he was looking out the window at a cold silver sky. Against it, he had a profile like a young prince on an ancient coin. Rachel shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. The bricks didn't kill me; maybe they wouldn't have killed you." "But you were trying to save my life. I did something that was probably stupid - again - and you had to cover for me." "I did it because it's my job, Gabriel. That's what I do." "You got hurt because of me. When I digged myself out of that rubble, I thought you were dead." He said it flatly, without any particular intonation. But the hairs on Rachels arms rose.
"I've got to get back to Rebecka." "Rachel." There was something wrong with her. She was facing the door, heading out, but his voice stopped her in her tracks. "Rachel. Please." She was aware that he was coming up behind her. Her entire skin was up in gooseflesh. She was too aware of him, that was the problem. She could feel the air that he displaced. She could feel his heat. He just stood there. "Rachel. Ever since I first saw you..." He stopped and tried again. "You were - gleaming. All that long brown hair swirling around you and those green eyes. And then you changed. I don't think I ever really understood what it meant to be a shapeshifter until I saw you. You were a girl and then you were a cat, a panther, but you were always both." He let out his breath. "I'm putting this badly." Rachel needed to think of something to say - now. But she couldn't, and she couldn't seem to move. "When I saw that, for the first time, I wanted to shapeshift. Before that, I didn't really care, and everyone was always telling me to be careful, because whatever shape I choose the first time is the one I'm stuck with. But that's not what I'm trying to say. I'm trying...." He reached out. Rachel felt the warmth of his hand between her shoulder blades, through her hair, through the fabric of her spare jumpsuit. Rachel shivered. She couldn't help it. She felt so strange. Dizzy and supernaturally clear at the same time. Weak. She didn't know what was happening to her, only that it was powerful and terrible.
His hand remained on her back, warmth from it soaking into her skin. "I realize how much you dislike me." Gabriel said quietly. There was no self-pity in his voice, but he seemed to be getting the words out painfully. "And I'm not going to try to change that. But I just wanted you to know, i also realize what you've done for me. I needed to say thank you." There was something swelling in Rachels chest like a balloon. Bigger and bigger. She clamped her lips together, frightened as she had never been when fighting monsters. "And... I won't forget it." Gabriel was going one, still quiet. "Someday, I'll find a way to repay you." Rachel felt desperate. What was he doing to her? She wasn't in control of herself; she was trembling and terrified that the thing in her chest was going to escape. All she could imagine doing was turning around and hitting hime, like a trapped animal lashing out at someone trying to rescue it. "It's so strange." He said, and Rachel had the feeling that he almost forgotten her and was talking to himself. "When I was growing up, I rejected the Power of my family. All my ancestors, they were supposed to turn into demons when they unleashed it. I thought that it was better not to fight - if that was possible. It seems unrealisitc now." Rachel could feel more than warmth now. There were little electrical zings spreading out from his hand, running down the inside of her palms. Not real ones, of course. Not the Power he was talking about, like the Power used my the dragon or Meg. But it felt awfully close. Her whole body was filled with buzzing. Some people shouldn't have to fight, she thought giddly. But, no, that was insane. Everybody had to fight; that was what life was about. If you didn't fight, you were weak. You were a prey.
He was still talking in that abstracted tone. " I know you think --" Rachel panick hit flashpoint. She whirled around. "You don't know anything about what I think. You don't know anything about me. I don't know whatever gave you the idea you did." He looked startled but not defensive. The silver light behind him lit the edges of his fine hair. "I'm sorry." He said gently. "Stop being sorry!" "Are you saying I'm wrong? You don't think I'm a spoiled and pampered prince who doesn't know anything about real life and has to be baby-sat?" Rachel was disconcerted. That was exactly what she thought - but if it were true, then why did she have this strange feeling of falling? "I think you're liking her." She said, keeping her words short and brutal to keep them under control. She didn't need to specify her. "You're like this whole ridiculous family. Happy mummy, happy baby, happy Christmas. They're ready to love everybody who comes along. And they're living in a happy happy idealistic world that has nothing to do with reality." The corner of his mouth turned up wryly, although his eyes were still serious. "I think that's what I said." "And it sounds harmless, doen't it? But it isn't. It's blind and destructive. What do you want to bet that Rebecka's mother really thinks my name is Rachelle now? She can't deal with it being "demon", so she just happily changes the world to fit". "You could be right." He wasn't smiling at all now, and there was something in his eyes, something lost and hopeless taht made Rachel feel more panicked than ever.
She spoke savagely to hold off the fear. "You want to know what real life is like? My mother left me in a cardboard box in a parking lot. It was fixed up with newspapers inside, like something you'd use for a puppy. That was because I couldn't wear diapers, I was stuck in my halfway form - a baby with a tail and ears like a cat. Maybe that was why she couldn't deal with me, but I'll never know. The only thing I have of her is a note that was in the box. I kept it." Rachel fumbled in the jumpsuit's pocket. She had never meant to show this to anyone, certainly not to somebody she'd known for less than twenty-four hours. But she had to convince Gabriel; she had to make him go away for good. He wallet was slim - no photos, just money and ID. She pulled out a folded slip of paper, with creases worn smooth by time and writing that had faded from blue ink to pale purple. Its right edge was a ragged tear, but the words were on the left and clear enough. "It was her legacy to me." Rachel said. "She was trying to pass on the truth, what she'd learned about life." Gabriel took the paper as if it were a hurt bird. Rachel watched his eyes move over it. She knew the words by heart, of course, and right know she heard them ringing in her mind. There were only twelve of them - her mother had been a master of succinctness.
People die.... Beauty fades.... Love changes.... And you will always be alone.